On Soul Mates and Best Friends

September is a big month for me.  For me, it starts down all the good stuff in the year.  It's my Anniversary, then my birthday, then we're almost to October and "Holidays, here I come!"

I wished my husband a Happy Anniversary and said on Facebook:

I can sit here and write a tome about soul mates, best friend, yada yada. But I won't bore all of our friends. The best decision we ever made was making the dedicated real effort to make God the 3rd person in our relationship, and giving up our "selves" for each other. Each year actually gets better and better. How crazy is that?

Happy 14th Anniversary David. I love the heck out of you, you goofy white man.

Honestly, I wouldn't write a tome about best friends and soul mates, because I don't believe in that.  I read an article a few years ago written by a Robin O'Bryant called "I'm Not Married To My Best Friend." and I said "THIS! YES!"

My husband is not my best friend. My best friends are Kelli, Anna, Barbara, Chrissy, Vicky, Heather M., etc. etc. These are my ladies.  My husband is my PARTNER. It's a higher calling.   We work hard to make it work. That part is relatively new.  We've been together 14 years married (17 together) & these past 2.5 years have been better than any other year. We had bad times.  We worked our asses through them.  It sucked. We almost gave up.  We dug deep, we let God lead (for real. But I'm not going to preach to you today) and we gave up the reigns to Him to make us work.  It works.  It's WORK. It's not easy, it's not free and there's no magic to it.

There are no soul-mates here either. I don't agree with that term.  I see people married 2, 3, 4+ times and I think "Wait, wasn't # 1 your soul mate? Wasn't # 2? Then # 3?"   They're your "soul mate" until you both stop WORKING at it, and then they're a mistake and your "real" soul mate is out there somewhere, waiting for you to find them.

Malarky.  You find someone you like and are sexually, emotionally & intellectually attracted to, someone you love and can see spending the rest of your life with, and then comes the work. Every day you remember that you chose them as your partner and you WORK.

You stop being selfish.

It's not about what they can do for you, it's about what you can do for them.  DO that for them, and pray you selected someone who will DO THAT for you too. This is key.  Make sure they work as hard as you do. Equal respect and work. BUT YOU PUT IN THE WORK. Don't let them all the work and you don't do all the work.  Don't be lazy. Don't let the other person make all the decisions and then resent them for it.  Don't be the person making all the choices and resent them for not making choices.  Respect them and their likes, even if it's not something you like as much.  Don't run them over with your likes & needs and ignore every single thing the other person wants to do.  (I just saw a dating relationship end over this last point.)

My husband is a nerd. He's goofy. He talks too much sometimes. He can sense when something is wrong with me the second he sees me and will pull it out of me in a minute flat.  He thinks I'm funny and intelligent.  He thinks I'm sexy. I think he's sexy, smart, a good father.  A good man.

We Work.

To Grey or Not to Grey.

Grey hair.  We'll all get them. Some of us earlier than others.  It's inevitable.

I was 19 when I got my first grey hair.  Since then, it's been boxed dyes and professional dyes over and over and over.

At what age do you give in?  At what age do you just let go and let "life" take over?

I'm still pretty young, I know.  I'm in my 40's.  But I've been dying my hair for almost 25 years.  It's exhausting, but we all know, especially in this day & age, that greying gracefully at this young of an age is not an option.  The stigma that I would feel going grey would be unbearable.  Isn't that horrible? I don't want people to think I'm old or think me stupid for wanting to go grey eventually.

I just don't want to be that 65-70 year old lady still dying her hair dark brown.  I do not want to be her.  We all know them; I know several.   "They can do whatever they want, Kaaren!"  Of course they can. I just don't want that for me.  I want to age gracefully, yet that sentence in itself is ridiculous.  For though we want  to say "She's going grey, kudos to her!" and "She's aging gracefully!" what we really think is "Good Lord, she looks OLD!!"  We don't think "Smart, learned, experienced, wise, sexy, attractive."  We think "OLD!"

Do I really want be the one going down fighting, wearing embarrassingly inappropriate clothes, getting Botox or plastic surgery or having inappropriate hair for my age?   Shoot, I don't like the current length of my hair too much. I think long hair after a certain age is a no-no.  Granted, I won't go buzz-cut short, but to my shoulders would be nice.  This hair down my back, that I have to dye every 4 weeks, is too long.   I am not 20. I don't even like bangs after a certain age.  My preferences are outdated, perhaps.

My husband's temples are grey.  He's got dirty blonde/light brown hair, so it's hardly noticeable, and I think he looks darned sexy that way anyway.  MY hair is dark brown. HOW do I "go grey" when I have this dark hair?  When I eventually decide it's time (when?? 50? 55? It's not too far away!)  How do I go from dark brown to grey; let the roots grow out? UGH!  NO!  Do like a lot of women I've seen online and just BOOM, go grey?  I'm a BRUNETTE.  What a thing to have to deal with, huh? (First World Problems; don't think I don't get the ridiculousness of all this, too.)

Ladies, tell me your feelings!  What do you think? What would YOU do?

2014 Revelations

2014 was a trying year.  It started out immediately with a swift kick in the throat.

I was left stunned, hurt, pained.  I reached out to exactly fourteen people. The responses were so varied.

For the most part, I was loved. I was supported.

It also revealed things about people I did not expect.

The one person I thought would have my back most, did have my back, but only if I reacted in the way they felt I should.  When I chose a different path, the anger and disappointment from their part was an ironic revelation; they forgot their own past that I supported wholeheartedly.  We're not as close anymore.

And wonderfully, some people who I thought would rage and yell and overreact...didn't.  When I chose my path, they walked with me.  They said it was my choice and accepted everything with open arms.  It was such a revelation to know that the ones I thought would lash out said "We support you, no matter what you choose."  We're closer than before.

I lived in constant anxiety for about 5 months.  My reading dropped.  I didn't want to.  I didn't want to work out. I didn't feel like blogging.  I didn't want to think.  Sadly, that's all one can do.  You can't escape your own brain.

The strength I had and have to get through it all is my deep love for God/Jesus.  I prayed a lot. I read the Bible. I went to church. I socialized with like-minded people there.  I talked to close friends and relatives.  It soothed me.  It makes me a happier person and makes me sad for those people who are just so angry all the time.

2014 revealed a strength I knew I had, but not in the way most people today would expect.  I don't live in a disposable, "that happened 5 minutes ago" world.  In my world, actions have long-reaching repercussions. Everyone has to take the accolades as well as the blame for the path they choose. This life takes work and sometimes it "ain't" pretty.

The rest of the year was a time of growth and revelation of the good in life.  Not perfection.  Just satisfaction in the good that surrounds me, in the people I adore. It was a really good rest-of-the-year once I gave up the reigns.

I pray that 2015 allows you, and me, to continue to grow in awareness and understanding of all the good in your life.  It's there. You just have to be open to it.

Sweetness and Light

Having school-aged kids is a nerve-wracking experience. I had one sail through middle and high school with no problems. He told me later that being tall for his age, dark & brooding, made kids a little afraid of him, and no one messed with him.

Now we have a girl in fifth grade. She'll be in middle school next year, and I'm completely losing my mind over it.

Our girl is sweetness and light. Always age-appropriate in a world where kids we closely know her own age would discuss french kissing and perform gyrating dance moves, constantly confusing her.  We are active in our church. She loves the kids' church group and we try to do as much as possible with them. (Oh, these kids are not the gyrating ones. Ha ha.)

Sweeteness and light. We talk to her frankly about the changes to her body, sex, etc. and she giggles but has zero fear of asking either parent or big brother a question most would consider awkward.  I tell her she can ask us anything. She does. Boy does she ever. I enjoy the different shades her dad turns as he hears what she's asking this time.

Yesterday, I was off from work and was able to hear her walk in the side door after her bike ride home.  I ask her how her day was, and immediately hear the tone of sadness and distress when she say "Okay."

Protective Mom Gene kicks in.

I ask her what is wrong. She mumbles under her breath that it's nothing.  I try to cajole, hug, and wheedle the answer out of her.  "You can tell me anything. You know this."

For a good 10 minutes, we try to get her to spill it.  I am picturing bullies. I am already in my car, mentally, driving to school to get to the bottom of this!

She FINALLY capitulates, in tears.

She's a patrol member and there's a boy who won't follow the rules and told her "You're not the boss of me!"

That's it. I almost laughed my relief, but didn't.

"Oh honey, don't get upset over that.  You do your job and if he doesn't listen to your instructions, tell Coach and move on. The end. It's the kid's problem. He's the poop head. Just tell coach and move on. This is nothing that should even make you upset."

She is sweetness and light and wears her heart on her sleeve. She doesn't understand not following rules.

How do I toughen her up without changing her inner self?  Nerve-wracking, I tell you.

Adulthood

I remember, back when I was little, that adults behaved..differently.  From my eyes, they were, well...adult-like.  Responsible, firm yet caring, honest, intelligent, hard workers.

I'm in my forties now and it's just not even close.  There are so many "adults" behaving like little teenagers, shunning responsibility and hard work for a little fun.

I'm not a prude, or a party-pooper.  I know there is a time and place for fun, but there is also the need to be responsible for the home you own, taking care of it, making it a nice place to live. For your kids, to be there when they need  help with homework, or want to play with dolls, or need a ride to an activity that conflicts with someone *you* wanted to do, when they need *you* to show them how an adult is supposed to act like.  For your work; being a hard worker, understanding that no ones OWES YOU JACK.  You make the most of what you're doing, or you find something new to do, preferably finding a new job while you still *have* the current one.

Life is not solely about you.  The world does not revolve around your happiness.  The kids drive you crazy? Tough,  Be an ADULT.  You really don't want to fix the closet door, you'd rather play with your Smart Phone or game system? Tough, be an Adult.  You just got home from work and don't want to cook dinner for your family? Tough.

Be an adult.  Treat people with the utmost respect.  Take care of your bills. SACRIFICE when needed.  Realize that others depend on you and you have a responsibility to them first. .

Remembering What It's About

Remember what it's about.

It. What's "it?"  The season. The reason.  Why we're celebrating.  We're not "shoppin' til we're droppin'," are we?

The Holidays make me loopy. I love the decorations, the feeling of togetherness, love, happiness.  I am a Christian. My reason for the season is Jesus.

What I hate is this DRIVE to shop, shop, shop.  I have asked, countless times, for people in my large family on my husband's side to draw names.  My sisters and I rarely exchange gifts.  If we do, we try to keep it small, and we tend to get for the kids more than our siblings. I do have some family members that go a little nuts on my kids and me, and it sometimes makes me feel bad because I did not spend enough on them as they did on me.

I love getting gifts and giving gifts. I just will not go into debt doing so.  My son's playing on a DS Lite he got Christmas of 2008.  There have been several incarnations of the DS.  Has he gotten one? Nope, cause his DS is still working.  I will not buy my kids the newest electronic doo-dad that will get replaced next year with the "new" newest electronic doo-dad.   Ask them (David & Jacob) how many years went by before I finally got them a Wii as a joint gift one Christmas?  I refused to buy at the same time everyone was going nuts for it.

I won't ever go into debt over Christmas. "But my kids deserve it."  Why, what have they done that demands you go into debt?  Know what my kids deserve? A clean house that we can live in and pay for, food on the table, electricity, nice clothes.  When we can afford it, we get passes to theme parks.  When we can't, we can't.  We take vacations when we have the cash.  Cash.  I'm not going in debt over a vacation.  We cancelled our 10-year-anniversary trip last year because Jake's lemon needed fixing.  It was either fix the car with cash or fix the car with credit.  Cash it was.

Wow, this post was supposed to be about something else.  

This post is about a little girl.  She is 8 years old.  I have never met her.  

Her dad delivers uniforms to my office for my shop guys once a week.  He's in his late 30's/early 40's.  Married, attractive, sarcastic, dry wit, funny, will bust out in Spanish (he's not hispanic) randomly at me to see my reaction.

He stopped delivering for a month or 2; we got a new guy for that time.

Then he came back.

I was listening to the Christian radio station.  He asks me "What are you listening to?"  I reply "Z 88.3, the Christian station."  He nods, hands me my invoice and walks out.

"What? What did I do? Is he offended that I'm listening to Christian music?"

The next week, I'm listening to Mumford & Sons.  He asks me "What are you listening to?"  "It's a band called Mumford & Sons."

"You kill me with your music," he replies.

"Why?" I ask.

"You don't know this.  Of course you don't know this.  My wife died two months ago after a battle with cancer.  Every time I come in here, I hear her music. I hear her in here."

"Oh, I am so sorry," I squeak, swallowing the huge lump that has lodged itself into my throat.

"It's ok," he replied.  "Or at least, that's what they keep telling me."  He hands me my invoice and walks out.

I run into the bathroom and sob.

It's been about 4 months since then.  He comes in, has started joking a little bit more, hands me our invoice and leaves.

Christmas.

His daughter is 8.  She loves My Little Pony; Friendship is Magic.  He saw me wearing a T-shirt from the show last week and asked me where I got it.  He wanted to get one for Christmas for his little girl.

She is 8 years old and will have her first Christmas without her mom.

I drove home in tears and baked cookies.  Isabel helped; for the little girl with no mommy.

I saw him today, our weekly sarcastic-fest meeting.  I handed him the cookies, along with some gingerbread people and other small cookies.

"For your daughter."

"You bake?"

"Yea. It's for her. Just...you know." I was trying not to cry.

"Thank you. This is so considerate. She's going to love these."  He hands me my invoice and leaves.

And that's what IT is all about.  Not me tooting my horn.  Just....remembering that there are people out there hurting and I have a talent or a gift, or whatever and I am going to make someone's day a little better, for a little second.

Florida Theme Parks 101

Dear Tourists Coming to Theme Parks in Florida:
Dear Florida People Coming to Theme Parks in Florida:

This is "Florida Theme Parks 101."  I will be your instructor, Kaaren Noseypantserson.  This class will instruct you on the hows and whys of navigating Florida theme parks.  (I like to call this class "Kaaren's Pet Peeves" to myself.  Don't tell the head honchos though.)

Arriving/Parking:

• Have your $$ already ready to pay for parking.  This is not a surprise, the paying of parking, so why are you waiting before you dig our your purse/wallet?
• After you have parked, walk IN FRONT OF YOUR CAR to get to the trams, or moving sidewalks etc.  WHY are you walking in the empty spaces that other cars need to park in?!? You're going to get killed, and you're slowing the traffic flow down.  Pay attention.
• BIG PET PEEVE ALERT: You have just arrived at the Universal Orlando, you CANNOT be tired already, so why are you on the moving sidewalks, standing still, standing three-abreast?  Move over to the right if you're not going to walk. If you're already this tired, I feel for you and the rest of your day.  Stand to the right, walk to the left, don't block the way for others (ME) trying to keep walking. Also, DON'T take your stroller on there.  It says so RIGHT THERE; No strollers.

In the Parks: The fine art of walking:

• We walk on the right here.  Please do the same.
• If you are a party of 10, don't feel the need to walk 10-abreast.  Seriously.  Why are you taking up the entire sidewalk?  And also...
• Don't randomly decide, en masse, to STOP mid-stride to discuss where you want to go next.  This causes EVERYONE behind you to try and not run into you, or everyone else.  It's crowded people!

Photo from OrlandoInformer.com

In the Parks: What the heck are you wearing?:

• Sometimes.....it's scary.  Why aren't you wearing a bra, random 50 year old British lady in the fluorescent tank top?  
• High heels. Really? Yes, you're a gorgeous foreigner, but heels?
• BIG PET SKEEVE ALERT: Why are you wearing flip-flops?  I stepped on your toes, why? Because your group of 10 stopped  right in front of me.  Those flip-flops just skeeve me out.  Dirty toes, no arch support at all, corns, calloused heels,  toenails...Ick.   I think my feet are ugly too, hence you'll never see me in flip flops at a theme park.  
• Shirts with foul language.  This is a family theme park. Yes, yes, you rebel, you, wearing your "F**K You" shirt so everyone can see.  It's never been done before. Nice. We're all impressed.

Final Note:

• Body odor in cramped spaces is no fun at all.  Make sure you pack your deodorant and use it.  Don't be stinky tourist gal.  

Kə myo͞onəˈkāSHən

Com·mu·ni·ca·tion (kəˌmyo͞onəˈkāSHən)

There are many definitions of this word; the imparting or exchanging of information or news.  A letter or message containing information or news.  Social contact.

My choice definition is: The successful conveying or sharing of ideas and feelings.

I know that this is going to come across as hokey.  I know that this is going to come across as clichéd.  What I don't want this to come across as preachy, snobby or "I know better than you" because that's not the intention.

The intention is to let you know how important I found this word, communication, to be in my life.  As hokey as it sounds, communication helps bring my husband and I closer.

I get upset with my spouse at times, but keep the anger in, not wanting to rock the boat.  He does not say anything negative, not wanting to rock the boat.  Eventually, though, my blood gets to boiling over a perceived slight that he did not even realize he'd made. We fight and realize we're both thinking the other is thinking something else/wrong.  Why?  Because we don't communicate like we should.

Recently, (after a fight the previous day over a perceived slight, that  ended in me crying that I hated his night work schedule and I missed him)  we were in the kitchen alone together, and he hugs me and says "I know this is going to sound weird, but thank you for the fight.  Thank you for letting me know you feel the same way I do about us."

How'd he not know that I miss him?  Had I not communicated this in my actions and my words?  No, I had not.  I got lazy.  Shame on me.  Shame on him too.  We both got lazy.  Were we a bit proud too? Probably.

Together 14 years, married 11.  You'd think we'd have it down, right?  Nope.  It's a never-ending lesson, communication.  It's about knowing that your spouse/mate is not a mind reader and  you are not to be expected to be one either.  It's about not keeping it in, tamping down the emotions until they burst out in anger or tears.  It's about being able to talk to your "other" with love and affection, not accusations and contempt.  It's about sacrifice and putting "we" before "me."  That's hard to do.  We're  not wanting to be the first to cave; to show weakness.  For me, it's VERY hard and I have been making a super-strong effort  to be "we" before "me."

It is  not hard to communicate, when both parties are willing to try, that is.

Enjoy the Moment While It's Actually Happening

We're so stuck to our phones and mobile devices.   I don't have a smart phone, mainly because I refuse to raise my cell phone bill even higher than it already is.  I have a computer at work and at home; I'm good for now.  The men in the house, though, have smart phones. So we go to dinner, and Isabel and I are doing the talking because David's racing a car on his phone or crushing some candy and Jake's doing whatever it is he does on his smart phone. There we are, Is and I, playing tic-tac-toe or coloring on the kids' paper menu, while the boys have their smart phones.

Text messages are  the norm for communication.  I know several people who won't answer their cells and won't even listen to voice mails; they delete them.  If you want them, text them. Pop in to  Facebook &  post about having your baby, and then forget to call your best friend, who is rarely on FB,  to tell them.  True Story.   It makes me sad.

I've seen this video shared by several  people this week.




I just want to enjoy what I am doing while it's actually happening.  I don't want to ignore people I am eating a meal with to take a picture of said meal and post it online.  I sound old-fashioned and anti-technology.  I don't hate Smart Phones. They are amazing and give us so much information at high speed.   When I am driving and need to find something out like a location, or random trivia, my son whips out his Smart Phone and has the answer for me in seconds.  It's wonderful.

What I don't like is visiting with people and they're all on their phones.  I'm sitting there, wishing I had a book with me.  Or better yet, wishing I was talking to them. enjoying the moment while it's actually happening.

I'm going to pinch you, Mom!

My mom.  I LOVE my mom.

My mom raised us to be HARD workers.  Left with 3 daughters and sporadic, if NO, child support [dad was a deadbeat (true, but we're over it now), mom did not fight it in courts like she should have and had his wages garnered so his kids would NOT have to be in the projects while he and his "new" family - his words back then, not mine -  were in a house with a pool.  But I digress.], mom taught us nothing is free. Nothing is owed to you. You EARN it.

She hated food stamps.  Back then, it was actual paper stamps in a book, not these debit cards moms get today.  When you handed those coupons to cashiers back then, you would get looks of disgust.  I kid you not.  The looks my mom would get.  We needed those food stamps.  Four women and one of them making $15k a year before  taxes.  We needed those stamps.  Mom eventually refused them.  She was tired of the embarrassment   What did she do? She took on a second job.  We took on fast food jobs to have money for ourselves.  I smelled like a Whopper for most of my high school evenings.  Burger King gave me a job and a scholarship.  Love them.

I sit in Walmart now, watching a woman in high heels, jeans, full makeup, nails done to the nines, Coach purse, handing the cashier her WIC Debit card and I do not get it.  What the hell?  Sell that purse and buy some respect.  See, no one cares anymore.  No one cares if you "get over" on the system. That's sad.  Mom taught us if you want something, you EARN IT.  No one owes you $%^+.

This is one of David and my favorite skits, by the way.




I'm digressing again, back to mom.  She raised 3 very different girls.  Very different, but we share the same work ethic.

When Mother's Day comes around though, SHE KILLS ME!!  She sends me a card, with money in it!  A check or money order for $50 or $75 will show up in the mail every year.  And I want to PINCH HER.  STOP buying me a Mother's Day gift, I tell her.  You're OUR mom, we do stuff for you!

She sends the card and then I'm all "Dang!  Now I have to make sure I buy her stuff equivalent to this!" I laugh.  We're just exchanging money for goods.  She is one tough cookie to shop for, especially since she lives on an island and I can't see what she needs for her home, what size she's wearing, what article of clothing she's needing.  I scour the stores and end up buying her something, hoping it'll work for her.  Some times, the shoes won't fit, the pants won't fit, etc. etc.  UGH. Pinching her the next time I see her.

I love my mom.  Happy Mother's Day, Mami.  Te amo muchisimo.

I'm Just Sayin'

I get really perturbed by the saying "I'm Just Saying" and also "I'm sorry, but..."

To me, these are just cop-outs to say mean things to people and make sure you feel ok in saying them.  "I'm sorry, but that outfit is ugly," or "I'm sorry, but you're just fat and need to lose weight." etc. etc.

No. You're not sorry.  Putting those 3 words in front of your statement does not excuse you from your own rudeness.  People really believe that it is ok to just say things like this.

"Well, I'm sorry, but it's the truth.  I'm just saying."

What a total cop-out.  What a way to devalue and belittle someone while trying to make yourself look innocent.  Remember mom's old saying "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all?"  It's a good rule.  Even if something is TRUE, if it does not help lift someone up, don't say it.  You don't have the right to start a mean comment with "I'm sorry, but" or end a mean comment with "I'm just saying."  If you're really all about the honesty, start your comment out with  "I'm a mean person and I want to make you feel bad, so..." because at least that is more honest.

No, I'm not mad at anyone.  My daughter and I were doing her Bible studies tonight and were reading Ephesians 4:29:

Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths,but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. (NIV)

I want her to know that the behavior I see online and in person is absolutely not acceptable.  I want her to learn it from a young age, so she's not the mean person who hurts others with her words.  Words do have power.  Don't use them to hurt.

Party Like a Pony

Isabel's 9th birthday party was a rousing good time!  Boy oh boy, was it a long weekend this past weekend.

The week ended rather rushed for me due to work issues.  One manager on vacation, another out of town for work and I was left to fend for myself.  This made me late getting home several nights and I was in a slight panic come Friday morning. I had to get home that evening and put a cake together.  I had not even started coloring fondant yet and I needed to assemble everything AND set up the party for the next morning.

While at work, my older sister Brenda in Palm Beach county sends me a text asking me if I had finished the cake.  I replied that I had baked a cake, yes, but that I had to get everything done that night and it was going to be a looooooong night.

I race home and immediately set to coloring fondant.  "Moooom, what's for dinner?"  "Nothing!  Eat an apple!!"  LOL, that's how I felt. Rushed and crazed!  Isabel started watching a movie and there was a loud scene.  I thought I heard a knock at the door but then I thought it was the surround sound for the movie.  Best go check.

I open the door and there's my sister Brenda, fresh from her 2.5 hour drive to spend the weekend and help me with the party. I was SO happy.

While I colored fondant, Brenda set to getting the house decorated for the party. Jake was sent off to buy dinner after setting up a foldable table in the entrance way.  Armed with scissors, balloons, a party paper plate and miscellaneous items from my house,  Brenda proceeded to create a centerpiece and decor for the tables.




She then headed back to help me finish decorating the cake.






My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic!  If you have not heard of the newest incarnation of the My Little Pony brand, where have ya been??  SUPER popular show, even with the college crowd and the cosplay fans.





I decided on a cupcake decorating station because, hello?  I have everything here and I thought it'd be loads of fun.  After games and pizza, we got to the decorating.




It was a messy, fun time!



My sister Jany above in red came from Tampa too with my niece.  She helped me clean while big sis Brenda entertained the gals.

She gets embarrassed every year when we sing to her.

The party was from 11 to 2.   All the gals went home with a goody bag and a carry-box for their cupcakes.

And then two party guests show up at 2, because the older sibling misread the invitation.

Oh, I felt SO bad for them.  The older sibling was mortified, so big sis Brenda and I set these two up in the kitchen with pizza, cake and soda, and then we brought everything back out to decorate more cupcakes with the new arrivals.  We played a couple of board games and two hours after they arrived, I sent them home with cupcakes and goody bags.

Then I passed out on the couch in the loft.  I can't party like a pony anymore.  Too old for that hay. :)

Elementary School Run and Women's Retreat

Saturday was a long day for me.

It began with my daughter and me waking up around 6:30 a.m. to get ready for a 2-mile fun run, hosted by the P.E. department at 7:30 a.m. at her school's field.

But before we could go there, we had to stop off our church to drop off brownies, cupcakes and cake pops I had made for the Women's Retreat that I was attending that same morning at 9:30 a.m.  With some help from some of the youth, we got the Jeep unloaded and then heading a half-mile away to Isabel's school for the run.  It was 43 degrees when we arrived.  That's like....20 in Florida terms.  We were COLD.

Isabel stretches with one of the moms and some kids before the race.

Teachers, parents and kids waiting for the start of the race.

We had to do 2 miles.  Eight laps around the field equaled 2 miles.  Every time we did a loop, we received a Popsicle stick to keep track of how many we had done.  When you collected 8, you were done.  Isabel took off with a group of kids.  Here she is, half a lap ahead of me.  I started walking fast and did run a little bit when Isabel ran past me again.  Not too much, but I ran a bit.  Eventually, I ended up walking and talking with Isabel's second grade teacher from last year, with whom I realized I had a lot in common. We had a good time fast-walking around.

Somehow,  I lapped Isabel, so when her 2nd grade teacher and I got stick # 8, she was only on #7, so she booked it around one more time.  She was not the last, mind you. There was a large group way behind her (can't even see them in the picture below)  still needing to finish their final lap as well.

Go Izzy! Go Izzy!

After the run, we got some water, bananas and bagels with cream cheese from the school.  Yum!  It was not really a fund-raiser, it was more of a "be healthy with your family" day and I am very glad she and I participated.

We quickly hopped in the Jeep and headed home, only 1.5 miles away, so I could shower, change and head back to the women's retreat from 9:30 - 2 p.m. at the church.

We had a nice breakfast and lunch provided for us, including the desserts I provided.

It was a really good way to meet new women, read the Word and learn from others' experiences. 

By the time I got home, I was exhausted and my left knee was angry with me for the attempted running I did with Isabel.  I took some pain reliever and spent the rest of the afternoon reading and watching t.v.

Week with the Outlaws

I was talking to my co-worker bffs (Seattle, Baltimore, Boston gals) about a last-minute planned trip my in-laws were planning, and that they were coming down for a week and we were all excited about it.  Then I said "You know, I hit the 'In-law Lottery' twice.  I am blessed."  It's true. No matter what I say (or don't) about Jacob's dad, I can say my in-laws were amazing people, God rest their souls.

My in-laws now are good people.  I am blessed to have them in my life. WE are blessed, Jacob and I.  Jacob came into this family at the same time I did.  They took us, kit and caboodle.  When Jacob graduated, my in-laws drove down from the Tennessee/Georgia border, along with my single brother in-law, my other brother-in-law, his wife and two babies.  They are not even related by blood but they drove down 9+ hours to watch him graduate.  The love I feel for them over it is so huge, it hurts my chest sometimes. When I mentioned this to my sister-in-law (married to David's brother) who came down with her 2 babies, she said "Well of course.  He's part of the family.  He's ours."

OK. Enough mushy stuff.

David's parents came down to spend a week.  I had to work but my boss graciously let me take two days off during the week to be with them.  The days where I had to work, my in-laws kept themselves very busy visiting relatives in cities a couple of hours away, visiting old friends for lunch an hour away, going to Bok Tower Gardens, and doing other fun things.  On the days I was home, my mother-in-law and I baked for a Women's retreat I volunteered baked goods for, and then we all 4 went to Merritt Island National Wildlife Refuge while the kids were at school.

My mother-in-law is an avid "birder." I have no idea what you call a bird watcher fan.  I think Birder is right. Anyway, we're in the Visitor's Center.  My m-i-l mentions that she wished she could see a Painted Bunting, the ever-elusive bird she has never been able to see.    I kid you not, two minutes later, David and his dad run in, saying "Mom!  There are Painted Buntings outside!"

The excitement was palpable; it was great.  And me with just my point & click camera!  I'd left the fancy Nikon at home!  My in-laws and several different visitors to the Refuge took turns taking pictures.  How awesome for them to get to finally see one here!

We took a scenic drive, saw some alligators and had a quick lunch before heading back home for a birthday dinner for our 9-year old.  They left Saturday for home.

Time is Relative

You know what bugs me?  When people say "You/They must have a lot of time on their hands" when they see something crafty made like jewelry or props (or cakes), or something redesigned in a home, or someone hiking for a day, etc.

It irritates me because they are implying that said crafty/active person has NO responsibility whatsoever and can just spend time "goofing off."

I've had it said to me. I've seen it said on-line about others and it bugs me.

We all have the same amount of time in a day.  How you choose to use it is your problem.  If you choose to spend 4 hours watching tv, then of course you can't repaint that room, do that cross-stitch pattern, bake those cupcakes, make that extra-nice meal tonight.  "Oh, I have kids."  Yea. So do I.  (I had someone once tell me, when I had one kid and kept a spotless house "Well, you don't have two kids." I then had another child and the same person did too.  My house was spotless with 2 kids.  "Well you don't have 3 kids."  *snort* )  "Oh, I work a full-time job."  Yea, so do I. 

My days are full.  Monday to Friday I am out of the house from 7 a.m. to about 4:30-5 p.m.  I run errands on my lunch breaks.  I come home and immediately cook dinner and clean up.  I get on-line for about an hour, in snippets in between cooking, doing one load of laundry maybe twice during the weekdays, and reading.  Every other day, I watch one episode of whatever show I happen to be watching on Netflix as I walk on the treadmill for 45 minutes.  On my off-treadmill nights, I'm reading, prepping for a cake if need be, etc etc.  I go to bed at 11 p.m.

Weekends are spent sleeping in on Saturday (9 a.m., watch out!) and then doing household cleaning.  They are usually spent indoors with my hubby who I see awake on weekends because he works nights and I work days.  We eat out together as a family for a treat.  Sundays, we head to church and then back home to relax, read, bake, play video games, whatever.

Time is relative.  If you choose to spend it on the couch, in front of the computer or a video game for hours, of course it looks like you don't have enough time. It's your time, do with it what you will, just don't knock down the crafty, active people for how they spend their time.

Christmas Day: Morning

Christmas Day!!!  We awoke, went downstairs & started handing out the gifts.

Being the youngest, Isabel got the most loot.  She was in heaven.

My nephew got me this awesome Buffy book.
My hubby got me the animal print footie pajamas draped over my legs.

I purchased Adventure Time stockings for my nephew and his girlfriend.

When it was all said and done, David says to me "Where's my present from you?"  

We had agreed to get a gift from  each of us to  each of us.  So, one from me to David, one from Isabel to David and one from Jacob to David.  In our immediate family, we would each get 3 gifts, not counting "Santa" stocking stuffers and Isabel's Santa gifts.

David only had the one from Isabel and Jacob.  He had other gifts from other family members, but he did not get one from me.  I am sitting there racking my brain trying to figure out what the heck David's gift was.

Now you also have to understand that Jacob's birthday is on December 21 and David's is Christmas Day!  Yep.  His birthday is 12/25.  I have A LOT of presents to buy just for the people in my home.  I remember specifically buying David 3 gifts that were wrapped in birthday paper (opened the day before) and 3 Christmas presents.  I swore up and down I had gotten him something.  He kept asking how could I possibly forget what I bought.  Well, gee.  I only do ALL of the Christmas shopping for EVERYONE but myself.  He had to buy 3 gifts for me from himself and the two kids.  *I* on the other hand had to buy gifts to each from each (me, Jacob and Isabel), for my sister, my nephew, his girlfriend, my best friend, my mom, my other sister's daughter, birthday gifts for David and Jacob.   Hmmmm. I wonder why I could not remember.

After about his third time asking me how could I forget, I stood in the kitchen making pancakes (making bacon pancakes.  I did.  I put bacon in the pancakes) and crying because I felt stupid that I could not remember what the third present was.

We eat and I head upstairs to try my footie pajamas.  While in the bathroom, I REMEMBER!  I practically FLY out of my room and downstairs where everyone is.  "IN THE GARAGE!!" I yell, trying to cover myself  with a robe while my sister and nephew's girlfriend yell "Whoa, too much skin showing there, lady!"

I had purchased a Video Game Rocking Chair with speakers and video ports.  It was so big, I had hidden it in the garage, along with a desk we got Jacob that we had also forgotten about!

I felt so much better knowing I had not neglected David.  Psssfffffttttt!  

Downtown Disney Dinner

We had a very fun time at a company-sponsored dinner this past Saturday night at Downtown Disney's Fulton's Crab House.




This Disney employee jumped in our shot.

BFF's are hard to make

One of my best friend's (since high school, we went to college together too) dad passed away overnight.  Thankfully for me, this friend knows I am rarely on Facebook and sent me a message.  She was too choked up to call but wanted me to know.  I immediately started crying and was grateful that I was alone in the office.

Her dad had remarried and lived in Georgia.  Eventually she and her mom moved up there as well, to a different city.  I remember when her parents were married.  I would go to their house to eat or hang out.  When Paul had a beard, he eerily looked like my dad looks like with a beard.  It was crazy.

We had several messages back and forth today (she'll call me tonight, she can't sleep, etc.) and then she told me how much she loved me, and misses me.  She told me that even though I have tons of sisters, I was her sister (she's an only child) and she missed me.

And I was crying again.  In her time of pain, she made me feel so loved.  It's so very hard making true  friends when you're older.  Usually you end up making friends at work (I work with 6 men), or at a gym (don't go), at church (sadly, don't have a church) or at kids' school events (never really happened for me.)  The only close friends that I made after high school and college were when I first moved back to Florida when Jacob was under two.  I made some fantastic gal pals who then moved to Alabama and Minnesota.  Go figure.

I have wonderful work friends who came to my wedding 10 years ago and with whom I still talk to every day.  Their locales?  Boston, DC and Seattle.  All over the place.

Locally?  Nobody. I live in a rural community where no one else I know lives.  My sisters who I love are in S. Florida (2.5 hours away) or Tampa (2.5 hours away).

Jacob's aunt is still a good friend and wonderfully keeps in touch with me, but she has her own close-knit group from when she was in school, and we usually see each other 3 or 4 times a year.

Neighbors?  I has some cool ones 6 years ago who moved 6 months after we moved here.  The rest hide in their homes and the ones I do talk to are really more of a "wave hello" kind-of thing.

An old co-worker and his wife moved back a few months ago from Miami.  I was ecstatic.  She and I used to hang out a lot, but I'm so very afraid to scare her off by latching on to her.  She has tons of family and friends.  We talk about hanging out, but because I live in a rural part of northern central Florida & she lives in southern central Florida, it's about an hour one way to each other's homes, so this has not happened yet.

It's easy to say "It's easy to make friends" when you've never left the hometown area you went to high school in.  As an adult, making real friends is so hard.  (Maybe that's why I adore the Yada Yada book series, not classic fantastic literature,  with these women who make these amazing bonds as adults; because I really want that too.)

I have amazing friends.  They're just so far away.

I love you Kelli-Kelli-Elliot (not her real name; college joke) and I am so sorry about your daddy.

Hot Men....According to My Husband

My husband and I were watching "The Avengers" at home one evening.  I sigh and say "MAN, there's a lot of eye candy in this movie."  While I was saying that, the character Loki was on the screen.  My husband says "Wait, wait, wait" and pauses the movie.

"Him.  You think HE'S hot?" my husband asks.



"Um, YEA!" I reply.

My husband just stares at me and says sometimes he doesn't understand some of the choices women make on good-looking men, so we start discussing men I think are attractive and he says Yea or Nay on them.

Nathan Fillion?

Hubby: Firefly-Nathan or Castle Nathan, cause he's put on some weight.
Me: ANY Nathan.
Hubby: Meh.




David Boreanaz?

Hubby:  Yep.  I agree




Jeremy Renner?

Hubby: OK, now you're messing with me.
Me: What?
Hubby:  Come on.  His nose.
Me: Hot.
Hubby: No.





Hugh Jackman?

Hubby: Yes, I'll agree on that one.





And finally, the one man that when I mentioned his name, my husband paused and then stated "Yes.  Definitely. I'd say he actually would go at the top of the "Good Looking Man" list."

Jensen Ackles.

Pour Some Sugar On Me

On the non-stop flight from Orlando to Panama City, Panama this recent trip, I was sitting in my aisle seat, having just finished my airline-provided chicken sandwich and minuscule salad (they still serve meals on all Copa Airline flights) and was working on my dessert bar.  I had been given some coffee, with two cream packets and two of the thin, long sugar packets.

I shake and open the cream.  You know what I mean.  You shake the packet so all the contests settle to its bottom and you can tear the top without everything spilling on you.  I stir the cream and grab the sugar.

The first sugar packet gets shaken with one quick flip, gets torn and added to the coffee.

The second sugar packet gets shaken.  And disappears.  I am left holding the small piece of paper I shook it from.  I immediately GASP loudly and look around.  The sugar packet ripped, flew from my hand and proceed to douse the people behind me in sugar.

I was mortified.  I yelled in English (like a dummy; I'm on a Latin American airline) "Oh I am SO SORRY!  It tore right out of my hands! Oh, I am sorry!!"  Then in Spanish, I reiterate my apologies. 

I was so embarrassed.  When the flight landed, I again apologized to the people behind me.  Thankfully, they were kind and told me not to worry about it.