Books Read 2013

Abysmal.  This is the word that I must use for my reading rate for 2013.  Abysmal.

2010 - 56 books read
2011 - 75 books read
2012 - 60 books read

2013? This past year, I read 36.  Thirty six.

Like I said, Abysmal.

It wasn't even like I was baking a lot or ill or anything. I really don't know.  I was lazy.  What a low number of books.  Boo!

1. "Fablehaven" by Brandon Mull
2. "Where Do I Go" by Neta Jackson
3. "Harry Bentley's Second Chance" by Dave Jackson
4. " The Casual Vacancy" by J.K. Rowling
5. "To The Nines" by Janet Evanovich
6. "Who Do I Talk To?" by Neta Jackson
7. "The Woman Who Died A Lot" by Jasper Fforde
8. "Who Do I Lean On?" by Neta Jackson
9. "Everwild" by Neal Schusterman
10. "A Hat Full of Sky" by Terry Pratchett
11. "The Sorceress" by Michael Scott
12. "Dead Beat" by Jim Butcher
13. "The Limpopo Academy of Private Detection" by Alexander McCall Smith
14. "Wintersmith" by Terry Practchett
15. "The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes"* by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
16. "Harry Bentley's Second Sight" by Dave Jackson
17. "Front Porch Princess" by Kathryn Springer
18. "Picket Fence Promises" by Kathryn Springer
19. "The Prince Charming List" by Kathryn Springer
20. "A Study in Scarlet"* by  Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
21. "The Sign of Four"* by  Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
22. "The Necromancer" by Michael Scott
23. "The Lost Art of Keeping Secrets" by Eva Rice
24. "Deadly Decisions" by Kathy Reichs
25. "The Stepsister Scheme" by Jim C. Hines
26. "The Colour of Magic" by Terry Pratchett
27. "Ten Big Ones" by Janet Evanovich
28. "Trains and Lovers" by Alexander McCall Smith
29. "The Impossible Lives of Greta Wells" by Andrew Sean Greer
30. "Who is my Shelter?" by Neta Jackson
31. "Proven Guilty" by Jim Butcher
32. "Fatal Voyage" by Kathy Reichs
33. "Intervention" by Terri Blackstock
34. "The Cross Gardener" by Jason T. Wright
35. "Building Better Relationships" by Bobbie Yagel
36. "The Last Dragonslayer" by Jasper Fforde

I also read books for/with Isabel, but I don't count those, nor do I count comics I read.  There are only a few books that stick out as the best of my pitiful year.

J.K. Rowlings "The Casual Vacancy."  I reviewed it here.  It was a read that stayed with me.

Pratchett's "A Hat Full of Sky" is book 2 of the Tiffany Aching series, but I liked it even better than book one.  Small review here. It was just sweet.

In the non-fiction category, I read "Building Better Relationships" for a Bible Study group that met Monday nights at church.  I fully appreciated all the helpful hints and ways to make your relationships with your loved ones, including those difficult people you cannot get away from, better. Mainly, give up the pride, which I have a lot of when dealing with specific people.

The rest were ok, good even (McCall Smith never disappoints.  Fforde is always good for a smart laugh.  Neta Jackson is hokey but sweet in this jaded world) but there were some that were just not my cup of tea.  This would include Blackstock's "Intervention" (I completely disliked the main character and will not continue reading the series), and  Pratchett's "The Colour of Magic" (I KNOW!  All you Discworld people are gasping! I loved the "Tiffany Aching" Discworld series, so I thought I'd go all the way to the start with book 1.  Not a fan. But I will have you know, I am still giving the series a chance and am currently reading book 2 anyway.  It might get better.)

So there's my list.  I'll have you know I am currently reading 4 books at a time, because I'm weird like that; "The Light Fantastic" (Pratchett's second Discworld book), "The Tail of Emily Windsnap," "The 365 Day Chronological Bible," and I'm especially excited to read "11/22/63" by Stephen King.   This 860+ page behemoth was recommended to me by my youngest brother-in-law on my husband's side. I was so impressed that he'd read it, until he told me he'd listened to it in the car; cheater.  :)  I cannot wait to get deeper into this book; the premise is fascinating!

Wish me luck for 2014.  It HAS to be better than 2013 for books!

Books Read 2012

Wow. 2012 STUNK for me, reading-wise.

While I read 75 books in 2011, I read a dismal 60 in 2012.

January:

• The Miracle at Speedy Motors (Book 9 of the 'No. 1 Ladies Detective Agency' series) - Alexander McCall Smith
• First Among Sequels (Book 5 of the 'Thursday Next' series) - Jasper Fforde
• Tea Time for the Traditionally Built (Book10 of the 'No. 1 Ladies Detective Agency' series)  - Alexander McCall Smith
• The Double Comfort Safari Club (Book 11 of the 'No. 1 Ladies Detective Agency' series) - Alexander McCall Smith
• The Yada Yada Prayer Group Gets Down (Book 2 of the 'Yada Yada Prayer Group' series) - Neta Jackson
• Storm Front (Book 1 of the Dresden Files) - Jim Butcher
• The Big Over Easy (Book 1 of the Nursery Crimes series) - Jasper Fforde
• Three to Get Deadly (Book 3 of the Stephanie Plum series) - Janet Evanovich

February:

• Inheritance by Christopher Paolini
• Mr. Darcy's Diary - Amanda Grange
• The Short Second Life of Bree Tanner - Stephenie Meyer
• Fool Moon - Jim Butcher (Dresden Files, Book 2)
• Four to Score - Janet Evanovich (Stephenie Plum Series, Book 4)

March:

• Rise of the Evening Star (Fablehaven book 2) by Brandon Mull
• The Fourth Bear by Jasper Fforde
• The Canterbury Tales by Geoffrey Chaucer*

April:

• The Magician (The Secrets of the Immortal Nicholas Flamel book 2) by Michael Scott
• Austenland by Shannon Hale
• One of Our Thursdays is Missing by Jasper Fforde
• High Five (Stephanie Plum book 5) by Janet Evanovitch
• Grave Peril (Dresden Files book 3) by Jim Butcher
• Out of Oz (The Wicked Years book 4) by Gregory Maguire
• Midnight in Austenland by Shannon Hale

May:

• Friends, Lovers, Chocolate (Sunday Philosophy Club book 2) - Alexander McCall Smith.
• La's Orchestra Saves the World - Alexander McCall Smith
• Deja Dead (Temperance Brennan Book 1) - Kathy Reichs
• The Saturday Big Tent Wedding Party (#1 Ladies' Detective Agency book 12) - Alexander McCall Smith.
• Death Du Jour   (Temperance Brennan Book 2) - Kathy Reichs
• Shades of Grey: The Road to High Saffron - Jasper Fforde (NO, NOT "50 Shades of Grey.")

June:

• Hot Six by Janet Evanovich (book 6 of the Stephanie Plum series.)
• Summer Knight"by Jim Butcher (book 4 of The Dresden Files series.)
• Les Miserables by Victor Hugo*
• Seven Up by Janet Evanovich   (book 7 of the Stephanie Plum series.)

July:

• Death Masks  (Dresden Files series book 5) by Jim Butcher
• The Yada Yada Prayer Group Gets Real (Yada Yada book 3) by Neta Jackson.
• Peaches by Jodi Lynn Anderson
• The Wednesday Letters by Jason F. Wright

August:

• The Yada Yada Prayer Group Gets Tough, (Yada Yada book 4) by Neta Jackson
• The Queen of Attolia (The Queen's Thief book 2) by Megan Whalen Turner
• Saving Cee Cee Honeycutt by Beth Hoffman
• Blood Rites, (Dresden Files series book 6) by Jim Butcher
• Spooky Little Girl by Laurie Notaro

September:

• Jane Austen Ruined My Life -  Beth Patillo
• Everlost -  Neil Shusterman
• Eat the Cookie, Buy the Shoe - Joyce Meyer

October:

• The Constant Princess by Phillipa Gregory
• Hard Eight by Janet Evanovich
• The Yada Yada Prayer Group Gets Caught by Neta Jackson
• The Wee Free Men by Terri Pratchett
• Clockwork Angel by Cassandra Clare

November:

• The Yada Yada Prayer Group Gets Rolling by Neta Jackson
• A Heart Full of Diamonds by A.M. Jenner
• City of Fallen Angels by Cassandra Clare
• Coraline (Graphic Novel), by Neil Gaiman
• The Yada Yada Prayer Group Gets Decked Out by Neta Jackson
• Clockwork Prince by Cassandra Clare

December:

• Little Men By Louisa May Alcott*
• The Bookseller of Kabul by Asne Seierstad
• Undead and Unwelcome by MaryJanice Dickinson
• Good Omens by Neil Gaiman and Terri Prachett

I tended to read a lot of series this year.  Alexander McCall Smith's "#1 Ladies' Detective Agency" series, Neta Jackson's "Yada Yada" Series, Janet Evanovich's "Stephanie Plum" Series, Jim Butcher's "Dresden" series.   All good or I would not keep reading them.

Nothing really stands out.  I mean, I loved the Yada Yada series, I continue to love Precious Ramotswe, and Stephanie Plum is my guilty pleasure, but really the only book that made me go "yay!" was Paolini's "Inheritance" because it was long-awaited and also very good.

What book in 2012 made you say "Yay?"  Tell me about your favorite.  I might add it to my ever-growing list.

June 2012 Reads

• "Hot Six" by Janet Evanovich (book 6 of the Stephanie Plum series.)
• "Summer Knight" by Jim Butcher (book 4 of The Dresden Files series.)
• "Les Miserables"* by Victor Hugo
• "Seven Up" by Janet Evanovich   (book 7 of the Stephanie Plum series.)

Wow, what a bad month for books.  What was I doing in June?  I was a slow reader in June I suppose.    

The Stephanie Plum series STILL keeps me laughing.  Man!  Are people in Jersey really like this?!?!?

I'm plugging along with the Dresden files series and have started watching the ill-fated series.  I'll post a Sci-Fi Palooza post on that one.  The book was full of fairies fighting and background politic craziness that has Harry going crazy.  It was a good book; verse tense and exciting.

"Les Miserable" by Mr. Hugo.  Poor Jean Valjean.  His conscious would not let him let an innocent man go to prison, and thus continuous problem after problem.  I liked Mr. Valjean; his life changed forever by the kindness of a random Bishop.  Oh, it's too long to go into.  It's a wonderful book about sin and betrayals, misconceptions, freedom and love, penance and forgiveness.  You should check it out.  

*Classics list

March Reads

March was another slow month.  Chaucer's "Canterbury Tales" kicked my patoot and slowed me down.  That, plus travel and a birthday cake to make, and I was down for my count.

• "Rise of the Evening Star" (Fablehaven book 2) by Brandon Mull
• "The Fourth Bear" by Jasper Fforde
• "The Canterbury Tales" by Geoffrey Chaucer*

That's IT.   That is one BAD month.

The second Fablehaven book is a Young Adult selection following a couple of young siblings who find out their grandparents run a sanctuary for fairies, imps, trolls, etc. and how they have to protect it from the evil trying to attack it.

"The Fourth Bear" is the second in the Nursery Crimes series and again, another hoot by Fforde.  The man is great fun.  Literary nuts, go read him!

Lastly, "The Canterbury Tales."  I read this in college.  In middle English.  It was really a fun class.  I read it translated into modern English and still had a hard time reading it fast enough.

2011 Book List

Thank goodness for Shelfari.com.  If I had not been keeping track of my books on this site, I would have lost the list.  See, our computer died in August and I lost a lot of pictures and documents, including my list of books read up to that date.

In 2010, I read 56 books.

In 2011?  75!!  (76 if you count the fact that I reread a book in November that I had read in March, cause I was bored and had my Nook with me at the time, so I re-read a book.)

I know there are people who read more, but for a working mom with a household to run, I am stoked!  Also, I don't count audio books in my car, which I listen to every day to and from work. I don't count comics that I subscribe to. I also don't count the books I read with Isabel, especially now that she reads them to me. They're way too small for me to add.


Here's my list that I had to hand-type because unfortunately, Shelfari won't let me export my list unless my profile on their site is 85% complete. Absolute poppycock, if you ask me.  What does that mean? Stupid things like "adding friends" or "editing book reviews" will make my profile be "more complete."  It's at 70% right now.  So, Shelfari is not being my friend right now.


Sh*t My Dad Says - Justin Halpern (yep, this is how I started 2011.)
The Likeness - Tana French
The Kalahari Typing School for Men - Alexander McCall Smith
Commencement - J. Courtney Sullivan
*A Tale of Two Cities - Charles Dickens
The Road - Cormac McCarthy
Girls Night In - various authors
*1984 - George Orwell
The Lust Lizard of Melancholy Cove - Christopher Moore
The Brambles - Eliza Minot
The Thief - Megan Whalen Turner
The Full Cupboard of Life -  Alexander McCall Smith
The Eyre Affair - Jasper Fforde
*Wives and Daughters - Elizabeth Gaskell
The Book Thief - Markus Zusak
Lost in a Good Book - Jasper Fforde
The Girl Who Kicked the Hornet's Nest - Stieg Larsson
*The Scarlet Letter - Nathaniel Hawthorne
The Lightning Thief - Rick Riordan
The Sea of Monsters - Rick Riordan
The Titan's Curse - Rick Riordan
*Jude the Obscure - Thomas Hardy
Good in Bed - Jennifer Weiner
The Peach Keeper - Sarah Addison Allen
In the Company of Cheerful Ladies -  Alexander McCall Smith
InterWorld - Neil Gaiman
Florabama Ladies Auxiliary & Sewing Circle - Lois Battle
The Battle of the Labyrinth - Rick Riordan
Suzanne's Diary for Nicholas - James Patterson
Naked Heat - "Richard Castle"
The Last Olympian - Rick Riordan
A Jane Austen Education - William Deresiewicz
*Little Women - Louisa May Alcott
Undead & Unworthy - MaryJanice Davidson
13 Little Blue Envelopes - Maureen Johnson
Charming Billy - Alice McDermott
Diary of a Mad Fat Girl - Stephanie McAfee
The Time it Snowed in Puerto Rico: A Novel - Sarah McCoy
Hand-Me-Down - Lee Nichols
*Madame Bovary - Gustave Flaubert
All the Names- Jose Saramago
The Angel Experiment - James Patterson
Knit Two - Kate Jacobs
School's Out Forever - James Patterson
The Well of Lost Plots - Jasper Fforde
Dead Reckoning - Charlaine Harris
Saving the World and Other Experiments - James Patterson
Blue Shoes and Happiness -  Alexander McCall Smith
Fablehaven - Brandon Mull
These Happy Golden Years - Laura Ingalls Wilder
Monster Island - Christopher Golden
The First Four Years - Laura Ingalls Wilder
Knit the Season - Kate Jacobs
The Weird Sisters - Eleanor Brown
Comfort Food - Kate Jacobs
Pendragon - D.J. McHale
The Merchant of Death - D.J. McHale
Mr. Chartwell - Rebecca Hunt
*Anne of Green Gables - L.M. Montgomery
Anne of Avonlea -  L.M. Montgomery
The Lost City of Faar - D.J. McHale
The Help - Kathryn Sockett
Anne of the Island - L.M. Montgomery
Anne of Windy Poplars - L.M. Montgomery
The Alchemist - Michael Scott (that's what she said)
Something Rotten - Jasper Fforde
A Short History of Tractors in Ukrainian
St. Lucy's Home for Girls Raised by Wolves - Karen Russell
One for the Money - Janet Evanovich
The Yada Yada Prayer Group - Neta Jackson
Anne's House of Dreams - L.M. Montgomery
A Game of Thrones - George R.R. Martin
The Good Husband of Zebra Drive - Alexander McCall Smith
Two for the Dough - Janet Evanovich
One Day in May - Catherine Alliot
Heat Rises - "Richard Castle"

* - Classics List

A few notes:

Notes on some Classics:

I really enjoyed "A Tale of Two Cities" by Dickens.  Really well done.

"Madame Bovary" and "Jude the Obscure" were both written by different authors who got in trouble for being too progressive for their times.  Both books deal with adultery and are actually quite similar.


Books I Want my Money Back For:


Diary of a Mad Fat Girl - Stephanie McAfee (paid .99 and I still want my money back.)
A Short History of Tractors in Ukrainian - Marina Lewycka
The Likeness - Tana French (It was free; I want my time back.)


Favorites of the Year:


The Eyre Affair - Jasper Fforde (and all the rest in the "Tuesday Next" series.)
The Girl Who Kicked the Hornet's Nest - Stieg Larsson
A Jane Austen Education - William Deresiewicz
*Little Women - Louisa May Alcott
Fablehaven - Brandon Mull
The Alchemist - Michael Scott
The Yada Yada Prayer Group - Neta Jackson (*this* is how I grew up getting my "praise" on.)

New Series I am enjoying
I just started Janet Evanovich's Stephanie Plum series.  I was prepared to be haughty and look down my nose at it (book snob here) and yet I love it!

Continuing Series I Love
I still love Alexander McCall Smith's No. 1 Ladies' Detective Agency series.  I love its sweetness, kindness and slow pacing.  As I get closer and closer to his newer releases, I am getting sad that eventually I will have to wait for more books to be published.

What did you read?  Anything you think I should read?  Let me know. Let's talk books!

Part 3 of Play is Not up!

UPDATE:  Jacob's teacher asked us to take down the play.  Something about legal bladdy bladdy.

Booooooo!

Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead - a High School Production

As I stated earlier, Jacob was in a production of "Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead," by Tom Stoppard.  A seriously funny play dealing with the back story of two minor characters in Shakespeare's "Hamlet."  The play intertwines small scenes, word for word,  from "Hamlet" within it, so there are some scenes you might be familiar with if you've read the bard's tome.

After weeks of nights and weekend rehearsals, the kids performed on Wednesday through Friday, October 12-14, 2011.

 Jacob played Hamlet, a man falling deeper and deeper into madness.  When the play starts, Jacob's hair is pretty normal.  We came up with the idea of Jacob's hair getting messier and messier as the scenes progressed, to show Hamlet's descent into madness.

Nice hair

 The play is so darned witty and the language so fast-paced, that sometimes things get lost in the telling.  I had several people, young and old, as me "Do you know what the heck is going on?"    Yep.  Rosencrantz & Guildenstern are bumbling idiots who have no idea why they're in Denmark, why they were summoned or what they're supposed to be doing.  It's wicked fun.

Jacob as Hamlet and The Player, played by Leon D.

Alfred the Tragedian, played hysterically by Richard R.

The group worked hard and are hoping for high scores; they were being judged one evening in hopes of moving the production to a state-level competition.

The Good, The Meh and The REALLY Bad

The Good:





David and I both read the entire Percy Jackson series and really liked it.  It's a YA series, so it's not grand literature, but the writing is good, the characters are fun and I loved the mythology brought to life in modern times.



I'd never read "Little Women," can you believe it?  It came free on my Barnes & Noble Nook (present) and so I decided to read it.  I enjoyed the sweet setting and the (to us now) silly girls.

The Meh:



I think this is book 7; I lost track.  I also lost interest.  The characters aren't....changing? I don't know, the story lines are too alike in each book:  Betsy meets an adversary, curses a lot, discovers a new power, kicks butt.  And then there's Nick the cop, who is such an annoying human being, I don't understand how anyone can put up with him or why he is even in the books.  Real people don't act like him.  I am not sure I will continue with the series.

So the main character has a supermodel sister and a brain sister.  She's always gotten hand-me-downs and now as an adult, refuses anything that is old or used.  Cookies have to be from a fresh pack, milk has to be from a fresh carton each time, furniture must be brand new. She will never shop at a thrift store and antiques and antique stores make her hyperventilate.  She was so unrealistic, I was annoyed by her and did not like her as a person.

The REALLY Bad:


This is what I get for being cheap.  Truly.  It was a 99 cent download on my Nook.

Written with typos and grammar errors, this book was not worth the 99 cents I paid.  The main character was a rude, white trash girl.  She had a mouth worse than a sailor, hated her job, punched people a lot (and never got arrested??), was bitter and rude.  Can there really be such trashy people? Sure.  I have known one or two women like this, not as bad, but close.  Should there be books written about them? No.  And to top it off, she gets the hunky hunk in the end.  Because he's apparently brain-dead to be with her in the first place.

Books Read - 2010

I read 56 books in 2010; 3 short of 2009's 59.  Blah!

Please note:

• I don't count audio books which I faithfully listen to Monday to Friday on my way to and from work.  I think the brain works differently hearing someone read a book vs. having to read it yourself.
• I don't count my Buffy comics; they're too quick.  I also don't count magazines. 
• I don't count the 4-5 books a week I read with my daughter.  She has to read a book a night for school.  These are WAY too easy, so I don't count them.  

Here they are by month:

January:
Heat Wave - Richard Castle
Mansfield Park* - Jane Austen

February:
Duty and Desire (Fitzwilliam Darcy, Gentleman. Book 2)
These Three Remain (Fitzwilliam Darcy, Gentleman, Book 3)
Dracula* - Bram Stoker
Me Talk Pretty One Day - David Sedaris

March:
Children of the Mind - Orson Scott Card
The Elegance of the Hedgehog - Muriel Barbery
The Stupidest Angel - Christopher Moore
Sense and Sensibility and Sea Monsters - Jane Austen and Ben H. Winters

April:
A Dirty Job - Christopher Moore
Tortilla Flats - John Steinbeck
Undead and Unappreciated - MaryJanice Davidson
Genya - Genya Finkelstein
The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo - Stieg Larrson
Fluke - Christopher Moore
Divine Secrets of the Ya Ya Sisterhood - Rebecca Wells

May:
The Girl Who Chased the Moon - Sarah Addison Allen
Dead and Gone - Charlaine Harris
Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland and Through the Looking Glass* - Lewis Carroll
Undead and Unreturnable - MaryJanice Davidson
Snow Flower and the Secret Fan - Lisa See
Practical Demon keeping - Christopher Moore
Frankenstein* - Mary Shelley

June:
Wicked Women Whodunnit- 4 authors
Coyote Blue - Christopher Moore
The No. 1 Ladies Detective Agency - Alexander McCall Smith
The Picture of Dorian Gray* - Oscar Wilde
The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time - Mark Haddon

July:
Middlesex - Jeffrey Eugenides
Bloodsucking Fiends - Christopher Moore
The Curious Case of Benjamin Button* - F. Scott Fitzgerald
Little Altars Everywhere - Rebecca Wells
The Great Gatsby* - F. Scott Fitzgerald

August:
American Gods - Neil Gaiman
Island of the Sequined Love Nun - Christopher Moore
The Doctor’s Wife - Elizabeth Brundage
Crepúsculo - Stephenie Meyer
Twilight - Stephenie Meyer

September:
Undead and Uneasy - MaryJanice Davidson
Suck it, Wonder Woman! - Olivia Munn
The Girl Who Played with Fire - Stieg Larsson
Dead in the Family  - Charlaine Harris
How to Cook a Tart - Nina Killham

October:
Lamb - Christopher Moore
Eats, Shoots and Leaves - Lynne Truss
Tears of the Giraffe - Alexander McCall Smith
City of Bones - Cassandra Clare

November:
City of Ashes - Cassandra Clare
The Hunger Games - Suzanne Collins
City of Glass - Cassandra Clare
Catching Fire - Suzanne Collins
You Suck - Christopher Moore

December:
Mocking Jay - - Suzanne Collins
Morality for Beautiful Girls - Alexander McCall Smith
This Side of Married - Rachel Pastan

My favorites of 2010?    

The Elegance of the Hedgehog - Muriel Barbery

The No. 1 Ladies Detective Agency (& the rest of the series I've read so far)- Alexander McCall Smith

The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time - Mark Haddon

American Gods - Neil Gaiman

Eats, Shoots and Leaves - Lynne Truss
The Girl Who Played with Fire - Stieg Larsson

Books I wish I could unread and get my time back:

Sense and Sensibility and Sea Monsters - Jane Austen and Ben H. Winters

Frankenstein* - Mary Shelley
Little Altars Everywhere - Rebecca Wells

How to Cook a Tart - Nina Killham

If you want to ask me about any of them, or tell me about a fantastic read I need to add to 2011, go ahead & comment!  I love talking books!  

*part of a Classics list I am working through. 

Frankenstein

I finished reading Mary Shelley's "Frankenstein" and let me tell you, IT WAS PAINFUL.

If you've never read it, then I can say you don't know "Frankenstein." I didn't. Thought I did, but was mistaken.

You probably know that the monster himself had no name. Frankenstein is the name of the man who created the monster; Victor Frankenstein. This I knew.

Did you know that the book does not describe him as green? He doesn't have bolts in his neck. He not mute. He eventually learns to speak beautiful English. The book never describes how the monster is made. There is no Igor, no lightning, no storm. The section in the book that describes the actual creation? About one paragraph and it never gives details. Mrs. Shelley didn't describe it at all.

Everything you learned about the monster, you've learned from the movies and comics.

The book was frustrating. It was written in the Gothic style. I'm not a fan. I find Gothic writing slightly silly. Call me 21st Century Jaded. It was also written as letters from a random man named Robert Walton to his sister. He's on an expedition to the north pole on a ship, and is writing letters to her about his travels, what he wants to accomplish, his thirst for science.

On his way north, he & the crew literally run into a man on a sled almost dead. Eventually they discover it is Victor Frankenstein. When his health recovers a little, Victor relates his life story to Robert Walton, who is telling it to his sister. (Letter to sister, from Robert, telling the story told to him by Mr. Frankenstein.)

Victor's story is loooong and detailed. The kind of details that numb the brain; descriptions of the trees and the mountains and the animals and fish in the stream on his walks. Victor goes to London to study science, and the telling of his creation of the monster lasts all of one paragraph Then we do not hear of the monster for two years. TWO years! Victor was so scared of the monster, he ran from the apartment for a day or two and when he came back, it was gone. Rather than tell the police what he did, he decides that he doesn't want anyone to know what he's created and think him crazy, so he says nothing. Two years, and all we hear about is that Victor is sick and his nerves are shot and I am bored to tears.

Eventually we meet back up with the monster once the monster kills Victor's young brother and frames a household maid/friend in the murder. Victor heads home, knowing who did it.

He eventually meets the monster who begs Victor to listen to his story. The monster is talking..eloquently. None of this "Guuuuuhhhhh" and "Mmmmmmuhhh" from the movies. Full-on flowery speechifying.

So now we have the monster telling Victor the story of what has has happened to him in the past two years. Robert's sister is reading the story being told to Robert by Victor and now we are hearing the story of the monster as told to Victor, as told to Robert, as told to his sister in a letter. Are you seeing the annoyance? It gets BETTER in that it gets worse than that.

The monster tells of the horrible confusion he first lives in, not knowing who he is, what anything is, of people being evil to him because of his looks. He hides in a forest and eventually spies a poor but loving family in the woods. Then the monster hears the heart wrenching story of this family through the window as the grown son tells it to everyone in the house (who has lived the story, so why is he even saying it in the house?)

Robert's sister is reading the tale from her brother being told to him by Victor, telling him about the monster, who is relating to Victor the telling of a story from random family in a cottage about the lives of random cottage people. How many steps removed are we now? Four? Five?

ARGH! Enough already!!

I didn't care who lived or died at this point.

I was happy it was over. I was interested in knowing that all I knew about Frankenstein was made-up Hollywood poppycock, but man, was I glad I was done reading this one.

2009 Book List

"She is too fond of books, and it has addled her brain." - Louisa May Alcott

In 2008, I read 47 books. I wanted to improve on my 2009 reading.


January:
The Tales of Beedle the Bard - JK Rowling
You Belong to Me - Mary Higgins Clark
Stagger ford - John Hassler
Robinson Crusoe* - Daniel Defoe
Gathering Blue - Lois Lowry
Garden Spells - Sarah Addison Allen
The Tale of Despereaux - Kate Dicamillo
The Host - Stephenie Meyer



February:
Emma* - Jane Austen
Killer Swell - Jeff Shelby
Sugar Queen - Sarah Addison Allen
Wide Sargasso Sea* - Jean Rhys
Bloody Bones - Laurell K Hamilton

March:
Jane Eyre* - Charlotte Bronte
The Graveyard Book - Neil Gaiman
The Secret Life of Bees - Sue Monk Kidd
Running with Scissors - Augusten Burroughs
Sense and Sensibility* - Jane Austen



April:
The Boleyn Inheritance - Philippa Gregory

May:
The Woman in White* - Wilkie Colins
Mirror Mirror - Gregory Maguire
Pride and Prejudice* - Jane Austen
Pride and Prejudice and Zombies - Jane Austen and Seth Grahame Smith

June:
The Shack - Wm. Paul Young
Dead Until Dark - Charlaine Harris
Living Dead in Dallas - Charlaine Harris
Messenger - Lois Lowry
The Last Lecture - Randy Pausch
Persuasion* - Jane Austen
Club Dead - Charlaine Harris

July :
The Time Machine* - H.G. Wells
Brisingr - Christopher Paolini
Phantom of the Opera* - Gaston Leroux
Dead to the World - Charlaine Harris
Dead as a Doornail - Charlaine Harris
Animal Farm* - George Orwell

August:
Xenocide - Orson Scott Card
Lost - Gregory Maguire
Keeping Faith - Jodi Picoult

September:
Definitely Dead - Charlaine Harris
Something Borrowed - Emily Griffin
City of Thieves - David Beniof
Undead and Unwed - Mary Janice Davidson
Something Blue - Emily Griffin
Baby Proof - Emily Griffin

October:
All Together Dead - Charlaine Harris

November:
Northanger Abbey* - Jane Austen
The Shadow of the Wind - Carlos Ruiz Zafon
La Sombra del Viento - Carlos Ruiz Zafon
Fireproof - Eric Wilson
Love the One You’re With - Emily Griffin


December:
An Assembly Such as This: a Novel of Fitzwilliam Darcy, Gentleman by Pamela Aidan
The Time Traveler’s Wife by Audrey Niffenegger
The Moon is Down by John Steinbeck
The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society by Mary Ann Shaffer and Annie Barrows
From Dead to Worse - Charlaine Harris
For One More Day - Mitch Albom
The Poisonwood Bible - Barbara Kingsolver
Undead and Unemployed - Mary Janice Davidson

* = Classics list

Fifty nine! Booyah! Fifty Nine!! Even WITH April and October at only one book that entire month!! Also, I don't count audio books in this above list. These are all books I read, not listened to. (I don't consider hearing a book in my car on the way to and from work "reading." Were I to add those, forget about it.)

Wow, I have some serious reading to do in 2010!

Animal Farm

George Orwell's "Animal Farm" is on pretty much every high school student's reading list. It was on mine, and now it's on Jake's. Not really remembering much of it (Swiss-cheese memory in the # 1 reason for my blog posts; so I can remember things), I decided to read it after Jacob did.



The book was Orwell's snub at Joseph Stalin, Soviet Union leader from 1941 to 1953. It deals with a farm where the animals revolt against the human farmer. They take over the land and start tending to it on their own. They start out with good intentions of all of them being equal, but as time progresses, the pigs (the smartest of the lot) keep imposing their own agenda, always saying it is best for the farm, when in reality, it just improves the pigs' lot.

It's sly, how slowly and sneakily the pigs work to twist things around. And it's sad how the rest of the population just goes along with it. No one questions it. They're all wiling "sheep." Well, almost. Some object, but those who do suddenly get branded as evil and get chased away, or worse, get killed.

Everyone is so busy following rules for their own good, they can no longer remember what it was like before the revolt. In reality, all the other animals are in a worse state than before they revolted against the humans, and sadly they can no longer tell the pigs apart from the humans anymore.


A lot to think about.

Phantom of the Opera

I've seen this book in play form and in movie form before ever reading it. I have to say (sorry Kim), I am not a fan of this book.

I found Christine Daae extremely annoying. She was so weak and gullible. I mean, a "voice" is teaching you to sing, and you think this is normal? You go along with it? You disappear for a period of time with this "angel" and this is o.k.? The man you love wants to marry you but you can't "anger the voice?" Argh. She irritated me.

Erik/The Phantom was not even remotely likable. He enjoyed creating torture rooms? He kidnaps Christine and I am supposed to feel something for him? Not even a little.

The only characters I liked even a little were The Persian and Raoul. That's it.

I was just so disappointed in this book. I wanted to like it so much. I wanted there to be this amazing love story, but I didn't feel it. I felt irritated immensely with the girl, and downright apathetic about the Phantom.

The Time Machine

I think I read this when I was younger; I have Swiss-Cheese memory.

If you are basing your knowledge of this book on this movie:



(Samantha Mumba, remember her? David had a huge crush on her.)

then you are sadly sadly mistaken. I don't even know where all the movie plot points came from. No attempts to save a lost fiance, no human-sized future people who miraculously speak English, no creepy Gary Oldman character.

The Time Traveler is a man who has invented a time machine in the 1800's. He's telling the story of what he did and saw to a group of people who have come to dinner in his home. He has traveled over 800 thousand years into the future. The human race split into two species; a kind, minuscule child-like group of above-ground dwellers, and the pale-skinned, large-eyed ape-like subterraneans.

After a harrowing experience with these two groups, he moves further into the future, where the devolution is scarier. Single-celled organism scary. The Traveler returns home, replenishes his supplies, and is never heard from again.

The book deals with the evolution/devolution of man. The more technology we have, the worse off we will be until some cataclysmic event lead to the downfall of man kind as we know it. Humans devolve. What do we know how to do anyway? Can you kill, clean and cook a chicken or deer? Can you make bread from scratch in a coal oven? Can you make your own clothing? Can you live without electricity? Grow your own fruits and vegetables? Can you defend yourself?

Doom and Gloom, the future is.

Persuasion

I love Jane. I do. I own 4 of her 6 completed novels and think she is amazing. But so far, this book is my least favorite.

The book deals with a 27 year old woman, Anne Elliot. Twenty Seven?? Egads, almost a spinster, she was! No really. Back then, 27 was cutting it close in the "get married have kids" part of life. She refused the hand of a man she loved 7 years ago because she was persuaded to do so by her rather dismissive father and eldest sister, as well as her godmother, Lady Russell. The man Anne chose was not rich enough, not highly ranked in society for her family's taste. Seven years, and no prospects later, she meets back up with the man she refused, who is still angry and hurt at her refusal. There are other back stories; conniving house guests, young male relatives trying to insinuate themselves on the family fortune, etc.

Written while ill, right before her death, "Persuasion" feels rushed. There's not enough witty dialogue. There's no back & forth between the characters. Instead of this:

Anne said "blah blah blah, and blah blah." Mr. So-and-So smiled and replied "Oh really, that's marvelous, etc"

it was more

Anne told him how she felt and he said he felt the same.

Less conversations between the characters, and more Ms. Austen dictating from the side what happened. I LOVE how Ms. Austen wrote her characters' speeches and interactions, and this book threw me for a loop. It was a novel with less dialogue than usual.

I did still enjoy the "witty, sweet, kind woman gets her happy ending," while all the evil people get their comeuppance. Ah, if only life were that way.

Pride and Prejudice

Jane Austen's most celebrated work, Pride and Prejudice is the story of a family with 5 daughters and no sons.




The eldest daughters, Jane and Elizabeth Bennett, are truly lovely young ladies; intelligent, demure, proper, cordial, courteous, etc. etc. The other 3 daughters are all foolishness and embarrassment, as is their mother, their cringe-worthy mother.

The story deals with these girls, who do not have much money to their name. As their father did not have a male heir, the estate will go to a distant male cousin, leaving the 5 daughters homeless and poor, so their mother is forever trying to get them married. Problem is, with a mother and sisters as these, no one will go near them. They are an embarrassment.

Enter new single, rich neighbor, Mr. Bingley, with his sisters and his friend, Mr. Darcy. Mr. Bingley is kind and generous, enjoying his new country life, while his sisters and friends are rude, mean and disdainful of these country bumpkins, and make sure their pride shows through.

"Pride and Prejudice" is a great tale about the manners and prejudices involved in falling or not falling for someone not in your station. It's about misunderstandings, changes of hearts, incredibly stupid mothers and sisters, and love winning out in the end over riches and class.

I enjoyed this one tremendously and recommend you read it.

I also rented the BBC version of P&P, which I thought was MUCH better than the Keira Knightly newer version.






And in his vein, I now present my review of: Pride and Prejudice and Zombies!!

The Woman in White

Amy.

Amy. Don't get mad.

I hated this book. I AM SORRY!! I hated it. OK, "Hate" is a strong word. To quote my sister Vicky's tongue-in-cheek saying: "I HATE people who hate!" I can say "I disliked it a lot" or "I liked it but a bit."

I love most period stories. I loved "Jane Eyre," and hated "Wuthering Heights." I love anything Jane Austen.

This book was new to me. I had never even heard of it. I was surprised to find that it was actually on page 4 or 5 of the Classics list I am working off of. I did not know that.

It is considered one of the first "mystery or suspense" novels of our time. It deals with the lives of an art teacher who falls in love with a young lady, Laura, he was hired to teach, but loses her to a pre-arranged wedding to another man who turns out to be a snake. There's a strange woman in white trying to stop it all, there's Laura's strong-willed half-sister (I liked her, I will admit), Laura's ridiculous uncle who I wanted to punch, and the new husband's friend, an effeminate fop of an obese Italian Count who you sense deep down is very dangerous.

Overall, the story is intriguing. The only problem for me was, that it was slow going. My copy was a bit over 650 pages and I only got really interested in the plot at about page 420 or so. I am a hyper person, I know, but I can read other classics and period stories without getting bored or skimming most of it. I found myself already knowing what was happening and that was what did me in, I think. I knew what was going on with the woman in white from early on, so I was impatient with the book. I wanted the characters to catch up with me already.

Jane Eyre

Ahhh. A Bronte I like. If you are unaware of my feelings for Charlotte's sister, Emily, you can recap here: Wuthering Heights. (side bar: HOW Stephenie Meyer can make "WH" Bella's favorite book is beyond me. )

Charlotte Bronte's "Jane Eyre" was a much better read for me. Her writing is so descriptive and fluid.

"No sooner had twilight, the hour of romance, begun to lower her blue and starry banner over the lattice, then rose I, opened the piano and entreated him, for the love of heaven, to give me a song."

Her characters are much, much better people. People to care about. Yes, even Mr. Rochester. I love that Jane is this young girl, an orphan, being taken care of by her dead uncle's wife, being neglected by this aunt, treated like dirt by her cousins, and yet she knows who she is. She knows what she will stand for. She's a child and yet she knows that her cousins are beneath her for the way they behave. She is in pain, she wants so much to be loved, but she still knows right from wrong in how humans should behave with each other.

I dreaded her being sent away to the school, Lowood. I feared for her and read hesitantly. Conditions were hard, but there were kind teachers and staff, and eventually she found a home there, if only for a while. There's still a world out there, though, that she yearns to see. She becomes a governess at a home called Thornfield, for a young girl being taken care of by a Mr. Rochester, a man 20 years her senior. Ms. Eyre is unlike any woman Mr. R has ever met. She says what she means, she speaks honestly, she doesn't drip honey from her lips trying to get something out of him. They fall in love and eventually confess their love under a chestnut tree, that later that evening gets rent in two by lightning (it's as if God himself is objecting).

Why would God object? Because on her wedding day, she is told of the lady in the attic apartments. The insane, wild woman. His wife.

"Jane Eyre, who had been an ardent, expectant woman - almost a bride - was a cold, solitary girl again: her life was pale, her prospects were desolate. "

That she declines to be his mistress, to run away and let him have her, is a great victory for her. While he tries to cajole, to wheedle, to threaten her to stay, she thinks:

"...my very conscience and reason turned traitors against me, and charged me with crime in resisting him. They spoke as loud as Feeling: and clamoured wildly. 'Oh, comply!' it said. 'Think of his misery; think of the danger - look at his state when he left alone'" ...."Who in the world cares for you? or who will be injured by what you do?"

"Still indomitable was the reply - 'I care for myself.'"

That cry, "I care," held her place as a favorite heroine in my heart. That she refused another marriage proposal of convenience at a time where she would have been thought insane (she had no other prospects and was not considered attractive, although she did have money by then)cemented that place.

There's disaster mingled with hope. She finds family she never knew, she gets the one she always loved and stays true to the strengths she had from childhood.

Wide Sargasso Sea

I've never heard of this book before. It showed up on the Classics list I am working my way through & I said "Huh?" Never heard of it.

"Wide Sargasso Sea" by Jean Rhys is a 1966 prequel to Charlotte Bronte's 1847 work, "Jane Eyre." I find it odd, an author writing a prequel off another person's work. Granted, Ms. Bronte was not around to approve/disapprove, but I find it odd.

We're meeting Mr. Rochester's Bertha, before she became the insane Amazonian-like woman as she is portrayed in 'Jane Erye.' Here, her name is Antoinette (Bertha is her mother's name. ) She is alive, vital, strong yet also weak. She's more than the phantom in Bronte's attic.

She is a young girl raised in a Jamaica that has just abolished slavery. Her and her family are looked down upon. They are neither rich, nor black. They are "cockroaches, " worse than the natives, because once-upon-a-time, their family for generations, owned slaves

Antoinette's mother is shunned by the people around her. They are almost completely destitute until a Mr. Mason sweeps her mom off her feet and marries her, securing their wealth. Slowly though, her mother descends into madness, a family trait. Antoinette is married to a young English chap, Mr. Rochester, who's not told of the family history, just that Antoinette has a dowry provided by Mr. Mason.

While Ms. Bronte's work feels very English, Ms. Rhys' work immerses you in a West Indies feel. The heat, the steam, the noises, the smells, the sights, the attitudes, all Caribbean. There is lust, heat, secrets, shame and slowly, the descent into madness.

Told in both Antoinette and Mr. Rochester's voices, "Wide Sargasso Sea" is a haunting yet beautiful companion to "Jane Eyre."

Emma

I've never read Jane Austen. I know, I know. What am I doing not reading Austen? Several of Ms. Austen's books are on the Classics list I am going through. Imagine my joy, joy, joy, when I went into Borders one day in January and saw the their signature classic label "Border's Classics" books on sale; clearance even. I purchased "Emma" and "Pride and Prejudice" in paperback.....for $1.74 each! Seriously! I would have purchased more classics, had I not read the rest they had on clearance. A buck seventy four! Whoot!

Ok, "Emma." If you've seen the movie with Gwynith (sp?) Paltrow, I'm sorry. *snort* Kidding. It's a good movie actually, I'm just not a fan of hers. (She plays the same person over and over. ) The movie was the first introduction I had of Ms. Austen's book, not counting "Clueless" which really was a fun movie, and was based on "Emma."

The book is a hoot. I can say hoot, dang-it, if I want to. I don't care that it's antiquated. Let's use antiquated words. Much better than saying "The book's cooool!" Emma is a young lady of privilege who, God help her, is so "clueless", so snooty and snobby that she has no idea of what is going on around her. She thinks she does, and ends up making a mess of so many things. See, she thinks she's a matchmaker, and her attempts at getting people together are fun. As I read, I rolled my eyes, I sucked my teeth, shook my head. Things right in front of her nose passed her notice. She was so sure of her ideas, she couldn't hear or imagine anything else.

We have some characters! Her father, aye, her father. Mister Hypochondriac. Lord forbid you should have any opinion on health or how things should be done other than his. He's not a mean person in the least. He just thinks that his opinions are the only ones that matter when it comes to what to eat to not make you sick, that his doctor is the only one who knows anything, that his governess who married is so sad ("Poor Mrs. Weston" is how he refers to her in every conversation) she got married and left taking care of him and Emma, *sigh*.

Mr. Elton who thinks he is such the catch and his wife! His wife who thinks she is bringing culture and class to their town once she married Mr. Elton. Oh, she was a doozy and I disliked her immensely.

There are too many more characters to note. I enjoyed the twists and turns, the language, oh the language! I enjoyed the hilarity of her attempts at matchmaking, her attempts at foiling the matchmaking actually going on, and finally her recognizing that she herself should be matched with the one person she never thought of, who was right in front of her all along, chiding her, correcting her, believing in her.