Here are the answers to the weird things heard around the house:
1) Did you kiss a policeman yet?
The boys were playing Lego Batman and one of the characters, Poison Ivy, incapacitates her victims with a poisonous kiss. Jake asked David this question.
2) When the doorbell rings, I want everyone to STOP killing people, o.k.?
Right before Isabel's birthday party, I exasperatedly yell this out to the boys playing, you guessed it, a video game.
3) "Honey, let's go." "I'm trying to talk to the cats."
I'm trying to get out of the house, David's trying to talk to the cats in another video game.
4) "Jacob! (long pause, while Jake looks scared) What have I told you about those ritualistic beheadings?!?"
Jacob was reading me an article. Something kind of gross, apparently, because I yelled this out a few minutes after he was done. He thought I was mad at him about something, and when I completed the sentence, he laughed.
5) "Get OFF the monkey, so I can get him!"
Isabel kept jumping on a monkey in "Little Big Planet" and David was trying to get her to stop it so they could finish their objective.
There is WAY TOO MUCH gaming going on in this house.