On Soul Mates and Best Friends

September is a big month for me.  For me, it starts down all the good stuff in the year.  It's my Anniversary, then my birthday, then we're almost to October and "Holidays, here I come!"

I wished my husband a Happy Anniversary and said on Facebook:

I can sit here and write a tome about soul mates, best friend, yada yada. But I won't bore all of our friends. The best decision we ever made was making the dedicated real effort to make God the 3rd person in our relationship, and giving up our "selves" for each other. Each year actually gets better and better. How crazy is that?

Happy 14th Anniversary David. I love the heck out of you, you goofy white man.

Honestly, I wouldn't write a tome about best friends and soul mates, because I don't believe in that.  I read an article a few years ago written by a Robin O'Bryant called "I'm Not Married To My Best Friend." and I said "THIS! YES!"

My husband is not my best friend. My best friends are Kelli, Anna, Barbara, Chrissy, Vicky, Heather M., etc. etc. These are my ladies.  My husband is my PARTNER. It's a higher calling.   We work hard to make it work. That part is relatively new.  We've been together 14 years married (17 together) & these past 2.5 years have been better than any other year. We had bad times.  We worked our asses through them.  It sucked. We almost gave up.  We dug deep, we let God lead (for real. But I'm not going to preach to you today) and we gave up the reigns to Him to make us work.  It works.  It's WORK. It's not easy, it's not free and there's no magic to it.

There are no soul-mates here either. I don't agree with that term.  I see people married 2, 3, 4+ times and I think "Wait, wasn't # 1 your soul mate? Wasn't # 2? Then # 3?"   They're your "soul mate" until you both stop WORKING at it, and then they're a mistake and your "real" soul mate is out there somewhere, waiting for you to find them.

Malarky.  You find someone you like and are sexually, emotionally & intellectually attracted to, someone you love and can see spending the rest of your life with, and then comes the work. Every day you remember that you chose them as your partner and you WORK.

You stop being selfish.

It's not about what they can do for you, it's about what you can do for them.  DO that for them, and pray you selected someone who will DO THAT for you too. This is key.  Make sure they work as hard as you do. Equal respect and work. BUT YOU PUT IN THE WORK. Don't let them all the work and you don't do all the work.  Don't be lazy. Don't let the other person make all the decisions and then resent them for it.  Don't be the person making all the choices and resent them for not making choices.  Respect them and their likes, even if it's not something you like as much.  Don't run them over with your likes & needs and ignore every single thing the other person wants to do.  (I just saw a dating relationship end over this last point.)

My husband is a nerd. He's goofy. He talks too much sometimes. He can sense when something is wrong with me the second he sees me and will pull it out of me in a minute flat.  He thinks I'm funny and intelligent.  He thinks I'm sexy. I think he's sexy, smart, a good father.  A good man.

We Work.

2014 Revelations

2014 was a trying year.  It started out immediately with a swift kick in the throat.

I was left stunned, hurt, pained.  I reached out to exactly fourteen people. The responses were so varied.

For the most part, I was loved. I was supported.

It also revealed things about people I did not expect.

The one person I thought would have my back most, did have my back, but only if I reacted in the way they felt I should.  When I chose a different path, the anger and disappointment from their part was an ironic revelation; they forgot their own past that I supported wholeheartedly.  We're not as close anymore.

And wonderfully, some people who I thought would rage and yell and overreact...didn't.  When I chose my path, they walked with me.  They said it was my choice and accepted everything with open arms.  It was such a revelation to know that the ones I thought would lash out said "We support you, no matter what you choose."  We're closer than before.

I lived in constant anxiety for about 5 months.  My reading dropped.  I didn't want to.  I didn't want to work out. I didn't feel like blogging.  I didn't want to think.  Sadly, that's all one can do.  You can't escape your own brain.

The strength I had and have to get through it all is my deep love for God/Jesus.  I prayed a lot. I read the Bible. I went to church. I socialized with like-minded people there.  I talked to close friends and relatives.  It soothed me.  It makes me a happier person and makes me sad for those people who are just so angry all the time.

2014 revealed a strength I knew I had, but not in the way most people today would expect.  I don't live in a disposable, "that happened 5 minutes ago" world.  In my world, actions have long-reaching repercussions. Everyone has to take the accolades as well as the blame for the path they choose. This life takes work and sometimes it "ain't" pretty.

The rest of the year was a time of growth and revelation of the good in life.  Not perfection.  Just satisfaction in the good that surrounds me, in the people I adore. It was a really good rest-of-the-year once I gave up the reigns.

I pray that 2015 allows you, and me, to continue to grow in awareness and understanding of all the good in your life.  It's there. You just have to be open to it.

Sweetness and Light

Having school-aged kids is a nerve-wracking experience. I had one sail through middle and high school with no problems. He told me later that being tall for his age, dark & brooding, made kids a little afraid of him, and no one messed with him.

Now we have a girl in fifth grade. She'll be in middle school next year, and I'm completely losing my mind over it.

Our girl is sweetness and light. Always age-appropriate in a world where kids we closely know her own age would discuss french kissing and perform gyrating dance moves, constantly confusing her.  We are active in our church. She loves the kids' church group and we try to do as much as possible with them. (Oh, these kids are not the gyrating ones. Ha ha.)

Sweeteness and light. We talk to her frankly about the changes to her body, sex, etc. and she giggles but has zero fear of asking either parent or big brother a question most would consider awkward.  I tell her she can ask us anything. She does. Boy does she ever. I enjoy the different shades her dad turns as he hears what she's asking this time.

Yesterday, I was off from work and was able to hear her walk in the side door after her bike ride home.  I ask her how her day was, and immediately hear the tone of sadness and distress when she say "Okay."

Protective Mom Gene kicks in.

I ask her what is wrong. She mumbles under her breath that it's nothing.  I try to cajole, hug, and wheedle the answer out of her.  "You can tell me anything. You know this."

For a good 10 minutes, we try to get her to spill it.  I am picturing bullies. I am already in my car, mentally, driving to school to get to the bottom of this!

She FINALLY capitulates, in tears.

She's a patrol member and there's a boy who won't follow the rules and told her "You're not the boss of me!"

That's it. I almost laughed my relief, but didn't.

"Oh honey, don't get upset over that.  You do your job and if he doesn't listen to your instructions, tell Coach and move on. The end. It's the kid's problem. He's the poop head. Just tell coach and move on. This is nothing that should even make you upset."

She is sweetness and light and wears her heart on her sleeve. She doesn't understand not following rules.

How do I toughen her up without changing her inner self?  Nerve-wracking, I tell you.

My Husband the Rock Star

I have never been flying with David in the 15+ years we have been together.  This past weekend, on Saturday, I took my first flight with him and our daughter.  More on that later.

The reason for this post it to discuss our Sunday flight. We decided at the last minute to fly to the airport in Chattanooga to surprise some family throwing a birthday party. The flight was four hours one way.  The way up was long and not too eventful . We had to bypass a storm which took us out of the way by half an hour, he had to maneuver around some pesky clouds and the winds on the landing in Chattanooga were a bit rough. For four and a half hours, this was not too bad.

We spent about 3 hours with the family and then headed back home, departing at 6:15 p.m.

The skies were fine.  We could see some lightning in the distance. This made me nervous but David was not concerned.

Eventually, we headed towards Jacksonville, Florida to avoid a storm. Unfortunately, we could not.  The skies were dark, the rain was coming down and the clouds had dropped low.  Trying to skirt around the clouds, we were smack dab in the middle of the storm.

I was not wearing a headset.  I could not hear what was going on.  I could see David talking to the control tower but had no idea what was going on.

I'm muttering under my breath "I want to land. I want to land. I want to land." He sees my mouth moving, takes off his headset and yells over the noise "What?"  I yell back "I want to land!" He nods as if to say "DUH!" and goes back to talking to the control tower.

The rain is falling down hard. There's lightning in the sky. The clouds are blocking his view of the airport.  He pulls a HARD FREAKING BANK TURN right towards the airport.  All I'm thinking is "Jacob doesn't know. He doesn't know what's going on." and "Please land, please land."

I'm not making deals with God. He and I are good.  There's no deal to make. We talk all the time.  I know where I'm going.   I'm just thinking of Jacob and Isabel. Jacob needs us. He's not ready for this.   Isabel? She's asleep in the back seat of the plane, oblivious.

David is full-on concentrating.  He's talking to the control tower. I can't hear anything over the noise.

Please land.

Isabel wakes up.  She yawns and says "Are we home? Oh, wait.  This isn't the airport that we left from.  Aww,  man. I want to be home. I have to pee."   Completely oblivious to what's going on.

David skirts a cloud blocking the runway; it's in his way and he can't land. He banks HARD right again to go to the other side of the runway, where it was clear.

Please land.

He makes it around in a circle and comes straight down, kind-of high. I'm thinking to myself "We're too high!" and he just drops us down right on the runway.  He tells me later this is on purpose.  He does some maneuver with one flap/wing/something that drops us quickly to the runway.

We land smoothly and taxi off the runway.  I let out my breath.  Isabel says "When can we leave again?"

We're directed to a parking spot.  The people at the airport lounge direct us to the bathrooms while David's outside closing his flight plan.  I'm calm, talking to Isabel about going to the bathroom and having to be patient while we wait out the storm.

I'm in the bathroom with Isabel, who still knows nothing is amiss.  She enters a bathroom stall, I turn on the tap in the sink, shove paper towels in my mouth to stifle the sobs, and start to cry.  Isabel comes out, and I feign complaining about the rain ruining my makeup as I wipe my eyes.

We stay in the lounge in recliners, Isabel with a blanket and pillow, eating free snacks and watching the Disney channel, me and David snoozing off and on for over two hours before we finally get back in the plane, in the rain,  to make the last 50 minute ride home.

He landed, fueled up, tied the plane down and we headed home in the car, to get to bed at 3 a.m. Monday morning.

I have never been more proud of my husband as I am right now.  He will try to play it off. He'll tell you he was nervous as hell and was putting on a brave face for me.  I'm here to tell you to ignore that.

Will I go flying with him again?  Yes.  He flew the &;^%$ out of that plane in that storm.

The man is a rock star.

  

Camping with the Church

Our church had an overnight camping activity planned for kids and their families.  Just one night.  The church has 22 acres of land, so we camped right on the property and had access to their restrooms.  They had a huge fire pit and fed us too.

It was our girl's first time ever camping. She had so much fun.  Memo to me: buy another air mattress! (ours has a hole in it so we did not bring it.)

Casa Nuestra

Chow time

Daddy & his gal making Smores.

Spring Break 2014: Friday & Saturday

Friday, Isabel and I drove down to Orlando to go to the cake supply shop. Daddy was working in the morning this time.

Sadly, we don't have a cake supply store anywhere in our county or the next closest county. I have to drive 40 minutes to the nearest cake supply store.  I don't go to Michael's when I need to get fondant.  The only brand they carry is Wilton. GROSS.

We ate lunch at Chipotle and came back to relax/nap before we headed off to dinner at one of our Grow Group family's home.  It's a church thing. We're in small groups to get to know each other better. I really like our Grow Group and can't wait until David has a Friday night off when he can go. We meet every other Friday at someone's house, eat, have Bible study and talk time, while all the kids play. Just great fun.

Saturday, Isabel left around noon to go play at her best friend Lisa's house. They have a pool.  Enough said.

David was off the ENTIRE WEEKEND. You have no idea how rare this is.  We decided to air out our tent, as we have a church camp-out coming in April and we have not used the tent in...oh...about 9 years or so.  This lead to David and I (mostly David) clearing the heck out of one part of the garage.  I'd say he cleared/swept/rearranged about 1/5 of the garage.  He got a lot of work done.

We set up the tent first.

Roomy.

Hello there.

While the tent aired out, we consolidated boxes, cleaned doors, swept and re-swept the floor, washed camping dishes, pots and pans, and threw out a bunch of stuff.  Sadly, like I said, we only hit 1/5 of the mess in there.

Five hours after she left, Lisa's mom brought Isabel home. She was so excited to see the tent. She's been begging us to go camping for over a year.

Daddy sneaks a picture of me and my gal in the tent.

After taking the tent down and packing it away, David grilled some bratwurst and we dinner and YUMMY drinks.

Then, we watched "Frozen" again, this time with David.

Strong Enough

"You must, You must think I'm strong, to give me what I'm going through. Well, forgive me, forgive me if I'm wrong, but this looks like more than I can do, on my own.  I know I'm not strong enough to be everything that I'm supposed to be. I give up. I'm not strong enough.  Hands of Mercy won't you cover me.  Lord right now, I'm asking You to be be strong enough, strong enough, for the both of Us."

VBS: Adventure Week "Turn It Up!"

The church we attend was having their week-long Vacation Bible School.  They created two sessions; an A.M. & P.M. session.  A.M. was from 9 a.m - noon and the P.M. session was from 6 - 9 p.m.  Since Isabel is taking dance classes on Thursday nights, I signed her up for the morning session.  Then I decided to volunteer for the evening session.  Isabel had to come with me 2 of the evening sessions because Jake and David both had to work, so both those days were very long for her.

The theme was "Turn It Up!"

This was free to anyone in our community (except for the $5 fee if they wanted to purchase a VBS T-shirt.)  Kids attending and volunteers working wore "Turn It Up" T-shirts and name tags.  Everything was decorated with the above images.  Age groups were divided into teams; Blue Crew, Yellow Swarm, Green Machine and Red Rumble.  Isabel was in Green Machine.  The morning session had almost 3 times the kids in the evening session.  I had it easy volunteering at night.

I was SO amazed. So impressed.  The "leaders" were all the teens and young adults from the church.  With a little guidance from key adults, these teen and Y.A. leaders were amazing.  From teaching kids dances, to plays, lessons, pep rallies, sports, snack time, set up and tear down, these kids did it all, and most of them worked both sessions.  I was impressed with their talent, leadership, hard work, commitment to God and to loving on these kids, some of who have never been to church in their lives.  There was a water day on Thursday and a family night/wrap up ice cream party on Saturday night that I also worked.  Parents got to see what the kids did all week, played games, danced, watched videos and had ice cream.

I was even presented with a "Shine" award from one of the leaders who nominated me.  It made me smile.

My Shine Award (mmmm, chonklits)

And just make you smile I  leave you with a little funny, below (these are just the night kids.  Imagine this, but triple the kids and that was the a.m. group.)

Whatcha Up To Kaaren?

It's been a busy month, but not so much that I thought it was exciting to post. But here goes anyway.

We drove up in May to Lookout Mountain, Georgia for my father-in-law's retirement party.  He worked 22 years at the same church as a music minister and we drove up to celebrate with him.

They had an entire evening service dedicated just to him and my mother-in-law, with a reception afterwards.

David joins the choir to sing along to his father's last conducting of the choir.

Looking at a slideshow of pictures

It was a quick (tiring) up & down trip for us.

The VERY next day after arriving home, I greeted  a new Seattle trainee who was sent to me for further training.  Tuesday through Friday was spent training a lovely lady.

We took her to Universal Orlando and ate at The Hard Rock there one night.

Dude.  I left work and we went straight here, looking like poo.

Isabel was chosen as one of two "Young Authors" for her class and we went to a presentation at her school for it.

On the last day of May, with a fever, cough and sore throat, I headed off to work because it was the LAST DAY OF THE MONTH.  That's "Go time" at my work and I could not call in sick, especially with my boss in Charlotte. So I'm there, working and hacking up a lung and I hear a knock on my door.   My big sister Brenda drove up from West Palm to spend the weekend and surprised me at work.

UGH. I am always taking horrible pictures!

She had been lamenting not having gone to any backyard cookouts for Memorial Day, so we had a belated Memorial Day feast.

Oh. THIS one's better, right? 

"Oh my ribs!"

Just us gals went to church on Sunday and Brenda then treated us to breakfast at IHOP. The boys did not go because "you snooze, you lose."  We went shopping afterwards (she found 3 jeans at Ross.  Color her excited) and then she drove home.

I've been sick for like 5 days now.  I did go to the doctor's office. Not strep, just a viral infection.  Blah.  Hoping I get better soon.

And that's what we've been up to.

I'm Just Sayin'

I get really perturbed by the saying "I'm Just Saying" and also "I'm sorry, but..."

To me, these are just cop-outs to say mean things to people and make sure you feel ok in saying them.  "I'm sorry, but that outfit is ugly," or "I'm sorry, but you're just fat and need to lose weight." etc. etc.

No. You're not sorry.  Putting those 3 words in front of your statement does not excuse you from your own rudeness.  People really believe that it is ok to just say things like this.

"Well, I'm sorry, but it's the truth.  I'm just saying."

What a total cop-out.  What a way to devalue and belittle someone while trying to make yourself look innocent.  Remember mom's old saying "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all?"  It's a good rule.  Even if something is TRUE, if it does not help lift someone up, don't say it.  You don't have the right to start a mean comment with "I'm sorry, but" or end a mean comment with "I'm just saying."  If you're really all about the honesty, start your comment out with  "I'm a mean person and I want to make you feel bad, so..." because at least that is more honest.

No, I'm not mad at anyone.  My daughter and I were doing her Bible studies tonight and were reading Ephesians 4:29:

Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths,but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. (NIV)

I want her to know that the behavior I see online and in person is absolutely not acceptable.  I want her to learn it from a young age, so she's not the mean person who hurts others with her words.  Words do have power.  Don't use them to hurt.

SPRING BREAK! Cooking Gals.

YEA!

It's Isabel's spring break.  Sadly, now that Jacob's in college, his breaks no longer coincide with hers.  We were going to take an Atlanta trip, but with some problems with scheduling at his work, David did not want to take the time off until it all got resolved (resolution in T-minus 2 weeks and counting.)

I decided I really wanted the time off, so I asked and my boss said yes, even though it was month-end, which is really not usually done (so thank you boss.)

It's mostly going to be a girls' week here.

We've started early.  While at a local Christian bookstore re-buying Toby Mac's "Eye On It"  (I'd given my copy to big sis Brenda when she came up to help with the party), Isabel asked if she could get a book and I said yes.  Most of the books, though, were either too baby-ish or too grown/teen for her.  It was weird.  Nothing really for her age group, so she asked if she could get a cookbook.  Sure, why not.


 

When we got home, Jacob laughed. " How exactly is this Christian?"  I explained that it was really the only thing for her age that she wanted.

She's made (with very little help from me)  four things so far;

1) Peanut butter ice cream smoothie (yum! sorry, no pics).

2) Peanut butter bumbles (little peanut butter/oatmeal snacks) that are supposed to look like bumble bees.

3) A Corn Souffle that was AMAZING! (I pretty much just got it in and out of the oven.)

4) A Greek Salad Pasta that everyone ate up, except her.

She's loving this book.  Next up. Meatless Minestrone Soup.  :)

Elementary School Run and Women's Retreat

Saturday was a long day for me.

It began with my daughter and me waking up around 6:30 a.m. to get ready for a 2-mile fun run, hosted by the P.E. department at 7:30 a.m. at her school's field.

But before we could go there, we had to stop off our church to drop off brownies, cupcakes and cake pops I had made for the Women's Retreat that I was attending that same morning at 9:30 a.m.  With some help from some of the youth, we got the Jeep unloaded and then heading a half-mile away to Isabel's school for the run.  It was 43 degrees when we arrived.  That's like....20 in Florida terms.  We were COLD.

Isabel stretches with one of the moms and some kids before the race.

Teachers, parents and kids waiting for the start of the race.

We had to do 2 miles.  Eight laps around the field equaled 2 miles.  Every time we did a loop, we received a Popsicle stick to keep track of how many we had done.  When you collected 8, you were done.  Isabel took off with a group of kids.  Here she is, half a lap ahead of me.  I started walking fast and did run a little bit when Isabel ran past me again.  Not too much, but I ran a bit.  Eventually, I ended up walking and talking with Isabel's second grade teacher from last year, with whom I realized I had a lot in common. We had a good time fast-walking around.

Somehow,  I lapped Isabel, so when her 2nd grade teacher and I got stick # 8, she was only on #7, so she booked it around one more time.  She was not the last, mind you. There was a large group way behind her (can't even see them in the picture below)  still needing to finish their final lap as well.

Go Izzy! Go Izzy!

After the run, we got some water, bananas and bagels with cream cheese from the school.  Yum!  It was not really a fund-raiser, it was more of a "be healthy with your family" day and I am very glad she and I participated.

We quickly hopped in the Jeep and headed home, only 1.5 miles away, so I could shower, change and head back to the women's retreat from 9:30 - 2 p.m. at the church.

We had a nice breakfast and lunch provided for us, including the desserts I provided.

It was a really good way to meet new women, read the Word and learn from others' experiences. 

By the time I got home, I was exhausted and my left knee was angry with me for the attempted running I did with Isabel.  I took some pain reliever and spent the rest of the afternoon reading and watching t.v.

A Lesson in Stupidity

We are stupid, my husband and I.

We purchased a vehicle from a buy-here-pay-here lot that sold cars As-Is.  Remember that horrible day?  We should have known.  No really.  We should have Googled, for heaven's sake.  Did we?

Nope.  We are trusting.  We are stupid.  There are people out there who take advantage of trusting, honest people.

The car needs a new transmission, 2 weeks after we purchased it.   Because it's an "As Is" sale, we have no recourse.  None.  The Lemon Laws are for new cars.

The internet has TONS of stories just like ours, from this same lot!!  But we didn't do the legwork.  It's on us.  People needing new transmissions 2 days after, needing new radiators a week after.  Ex-employees saying that he tells the mechanics to just patch them up so they can drive off the lot.

We paid $3,000 cash for a used car that now needs a $1400+ transmission.

And I am so sick I. WANT. TO VOMIT.

I want to vomit because WE ARE STUPID.  I am tired of crying.

The man has the nerve to pass as a Christian.  Christian paraphernalia all over the place.  Made sure to mention that he drives the church van to go pick people up for Sunday service.

How dare you use God this way?

We had to cancel going to see David's grandmother over Labor day weekend out of state.  She had another small stroke.  We could not afford the gas nor David taking unpaid leave to go (no vacation time.)

We had to cancel our 10-year anniversary plans.  We're going to have to charge $1400 to get this car fixed, because an evil man sells crap cars and WE ARE STUPID.  I don't charge things.  Now I do.

That's what pisses me off the most.  I'm smarter than this.  I am smarter than THIS.

I just want to stop being so angry at myself.  I want to stop thinking about it and crying, and move forward already.

And I need a hug, dagnabit.

My Abuela

My abuela passed away Tuesday night in Puerto Rico.  She was 89 years old.  She had been suffering from medical problems with her lungs, and also had some kind of dementia/Alheimer's disease.  Sometimes she knew people around her, other times not.

The last time I saw her, sad to say, was 2006.  She came to Florida, then got ill at my home.   It was a scary time.  She had fluid in her lungs and ended up being hospitalized.  We visited and spent time with grandpa at home.   It was a trying time but we made do and at least I got to be with them.

















None of us sisters from dad's line could attend.  She died Tuesday around 10 p.m.  They buried her Thursday at 2 p.m.-ish.  Flights were too expensive for us.

She was feisty when coherent.  She always made us eat.  "Cóme!, Cóme!" (Eat, eat!) she'd yell.  She had strong religious beliefs.  She and grandpa are the reason I believe in God and my salvation through Jesus.  When my parents did not go to church, our grandparents took us along.  Dragged us, you might say, but I am eternally grateful.

I will miss my abuela.  I don't think anyone will miss her more though than my abuelo and my sister Brenda.  Bar none.

Our abuelo/grandpa

The Week That Would Not End...

......has thankfully ended.

WHAT  A WEEK.

It started well enough.  Jacob had rehearsals all weekend and the beginning of the week for the play he was in, "Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead," so he was pretty much at school 24/7.

Monday Isabel started another round of swimming lessons.  I sometimes wish we had a pool, or had access to one that did not require a monthly membership fee.  If we had access, I'm sure David would have taught her by now.

Then came Tuesday.  I was home, after working all day, making cookie batter.  I was going to make gift cookies for all the kids in the high school play.  The phone rings around 6 p.m.  It's David telling me he had gotten into a car accident in his Honda.    This is Tuesday.  The previous Saturday, we had just paid almost $1500 to get repairs done to the Honda from two previous incidents, neither one his fault.  One was a dent caused by someone coming out of our own driveway and hitting his car and the other was in the parking lot at Disney, where someone scratched the paint off the side of his car while we were inside.  Fifteen hundred dollars, and two days later.......

 Leaving Isabel with her brother, who had gotten home from rehearsals, and leaving all the baking things as-is, I ride the 35 minute trip to where he is.

With about 2 miles to go, I'm at a traffic light at a busy intersection, and I can't get the Jeep into gear.  I drive a stick and I cannot get the danged thing in gear.  I put my hazards on and, my voice in near-hysteria levels, I cry to David over the phone that I can't get the car in gear!!!  Cars whiz by by me and finally, I grind the thing into third gear and pray I don't get any red lights, as I head to where David is.

I make it to where David is and stop.  We decide to call a tow truck to get David's car to the local garage I use, near my office.  When David tries the Jeep (he must think I'm being ridiculous about getting the car into gear), he can't get it into gear either.  Duh!!

We call the tow truck and I weepily call a co-worker who lives WAY far away and who had just gotten home from a 4+ hour drive from a job site.  He scarfs his meal and comes to where we are.   He is a co-worker and  friend of 14 years.   I owe him big time.

Both cars get taken to the garage and we get taken home.  Thankfully, we have the car that my sister gave to Jacob.  It needs new brakes and a new rear suspension & shocks ($1200 quote) but it works.

The next morning, Wednesday, David takes care of the insurance claim on the Honda while I take care of the Jeep.  The Honda needs to go to a collision shop 300 feet from the garage where we had it towed.  Great luck.  My main garage quote me $1200 to get the clutch fixed, and when I balk, he recommends we take the Jeep to a place that only works on transmissions.  My co-worker and I are able to get the Jeep in gear and he follows me the 2 miles to the transmission place.  They say they'll look at it.

That evening, I take Isabel to swimming lessons in a co-worker's borrowed car (I work with truly amazing, selfless people) while David drives the Ford for work.  He text-messages me to tell me the Ford is sputtering at stop lights.  I try not to cry, say a little prayer to God for help,  try to focus on Isabel's lessons, and head home to finish the cookies I tried starting the night before.

Thursday, and still no Jeep.  They're "looking into it."   I'm at work and the new sales guy comes in.  He's been with us 4 weeks.  I tell him my tales of woe, and he comes back from his office and hands me his car keys.  His personal car has been sitting outside the office, unused, for 4 weeks.  He has a company vehicle and has not moved his personal car since he started with us. "Keep it as long as you need it."  I just stare,  disbelieving.  "Are you sure?!"  He replies "Yea, absolutely."  Prayer answered.   Thanks!

Thursday night, my nephew and his girlfriend arrive to stay the weekend.  I continue decorating cookies and then we all head towards the high school, my nephew and his gf driving, to watch Jacob in his play (more posts on that later).  I came back home to finish decorating the cookies and got to bed at 1 a.m.

Friday, no Jeep but they're making progress, no news on the Honda, and another night of the play.   The Ford is giving David more problems, but for now, it's running.  The play is fantastic and the kids love the cookies.

Saturday, Jacob has a choir performance (more posts on that later) and the garage finally calls me back to say the Jeep is fixed; $680.  *sigh*  I take Jacob to Daytona Beach (40 minutes one way) for singing rehearsals....in the middle of Biketober Fest.  Back home (40 minutes).  Head back 2 hours later to pick him up (took me 50 minutes this time) and an hour to get back home because the biker traffic had really ramped up.

Then BACK to Daytona Beach for the night's performance.

Sunday was spent catching up on my sleep and going grocery shopping, which I had to neglect all week long.

I....am tired. I am glad this week is over.

A Swift Kick in the Gut by Christmas Spirit

I considered myself a Scrooge this year. Unforeseen travel, coming to terms with personal things I can't change and the hurry-hurry of Christmas did me in. Ebeneezer it was.

We spent a quiet Christmas at home, watching the youngest, Isabel, enthralled by everything that was Christmas. We ate dinner in our pj's and pretty much kept to ourselves.

I received several gifts (gift cards, books, Cd's, kitchen items, etc.) and a necklace from my in-laws; a pretty milky/clear stone in a scroll-like setting on a thin silver chain. Nice, I thought. I'm really not much of a jewelry wearer. I have a lot of it, handed down by my mom, my ex mother-in-law (r.i.p.) and now my current one. I just don't wear it much.

I wore the necklace on Tuesday and e-mailed my mother-in-law from work, thanking her for the necklace and asking her what the stone was.

She replied that the stones were called Moonstones and were sent from her father years ago (when she was 3 yrs old or less) to their mother as a gift. He was working in Japan, and they (my m-i-l, her sisters and mom) were in the States. On an LP he recorded he mentioned that the Japanese did not like the stones too much, but that they were popular with Americans. Eventually they were set into jewelry; necklaces, rings, etc.

[Back Story: My mother-in-law's father (David's grandfather) was presumed killed in a plane wreck when she was 3 years old. They had finally moved to Japan to be with him. He flew to the States to take care of some family business. Flying back to Japan to be home with his wife and 3 daughters, the plane he was in went into the cloudy Alaskan skies and was never seen from again. Mrs. H and her 3 daughters had to make it back home from Japan on their own.]

Mrs. H passed away over 3 years ago. Her 3 daughters separated the moonstones amongst themselves. My mother-in-law had them taken out of the old jewelry and set into 3 slightly different silver necklaces. One for her daughter and one for each of her two daughters-in-law.

After reading the e-mail, I sat at my desk at work, silently crying, ashamed at my attitude over the past few weeks, and hoping my boss would not notice. I e-mailed my mother-in-law telling her that I was touched and honored at such a gift.

I am. Honored.

Overbooked and Saddened

My son is singing at Epcot this weekend with his choir. We were not going to go see him, because 3 tickets at $70-whatever each is not something we can do on our budget, especially around Christmas. Since he was going to be there at Epcot all night, I scheduled our company's Christmas dinner for Friday evening. David took off work and we're going to have to bring Isabel with us.

My son calls me from school yesterday to say they now need more chaperones and the chaperones get in for free. ARGH!!!!!!!!! I asked David to take the night off. If I go to Epcot, I miss the company dinner, that *I* plan out every year, and David gets to stay home losing out on work for no apparent reason.

So I sit here, all sad and mad and grumpy. The holidays are supposed to be fun! They're supposed to be a time of joy, reflection, and time for God and/or Jesus, yet I sit here hating them this year. I lost a week with being out of the country and now can't fit all the shopping in that I need to do while working a full-time job and then coming home to clean, cook, etc. I have doctor's appointments, dinners and parties, and also the shopping I don't want to do.

The not-seeing-my-son-sing-now-that-I-can-get-in-free is the sludge topping to my BAH HUMBUG sundae.

The Shack

Back to the book-learnin', ya'll.



The Shack by William P. Young is a book I picked up mainly because it was on the NY Times Best Seller list. I browse their lists from time to time when looking for something new to read. I ordered it from Paperbackswap.com. As I was waiting for it to arrive, a friend of mine posted on her blog that she was SO not interested in this book, that she never finished it.

Dismay! She and I usually agree on books (except for the Woman in White).

This book is the story about a loving family man who loses one of his daughter one day while on a weekend camping trip, to a serial murderer. His daughter's clothes and blood are found in a desolate shack, her body never is.

Four years have passed and Mack is still feeling The Great Sadness. He and his family strive to move forward, but he is SO ANGRY with God, who his wife affectionately calls "Papa," as her relationship with Him is so very close. One afternoon, Mack gets a letter in the mailbox, from "Papa," asking him to meet Him at the shack where his daughter was murdered.

The book deals a lot with spirituality, the trinity, divinity. People have complained about it; he's got it all wrong; he's heretical.; God is not a black Southern woman.

People. It's a book. Take from it what you will, leave the rest. I'm pretty sure the God-as-a-Black Woman thing is a metaphor for the comfort Mack needed at the time. A female nurturer. Later we see God as a man, when Mack needs strength. The Holy Spirit is an Asian woman, Jesus is a carpenter from the middle-east. Mack interacts with all three, who are really one.

The book goes through a lot of themes and explanations about the trinity that I did not understand. The writing was a touch trite (says the lady who has never written a novel, I know!) and the writing very contemporary. And yet, I found myself crying through Mack's painful journey, dealing with not only the loss of his daughter but the abuse of his father whom he left at age 15.

I remember when the "Harry Potter" books came out and religious leaders were up in arms. "It has magic and wizards, it is evil!" I don't understand that line of thinking. It's a book and I know that I am not feeble-minded and think it's real.

"The Shack" is not a Bible, not grand literature, but the story was compelling to me. You take from it what you will, leave the rest.

Ready for the Big Leagues

Congratulations to Isabel on her Pre-K graduation. (A little silly, I know, having a graduation for Pre-K when she'll just have another next year for Kindergarten, but oh well.) She enjoyed her day very much, and we took her to see "Up" after.

Her teacher from India, Ms. Mercy.

Outside the doors to her school.